Anon please as friends are on here and its a really personal topic.
Warning: It is long and it is honestly going to sound like a Bollywood story lol but is very much real unfortunately :(
So basically my wedding has been arranged with this guy. Its not your typical forced marriage but for reasons best left unsaid I can't really say no (my conscience isn't letting me even though I have the option of saying no). The guy isn't happy with the situation either as it was all the sudden. The real problem comes is his ex-girlfriend/girlfriend.
A little bit of history of them. The guy is 28 and the girl 30. I am 21 if that is somehow relevant. They have been friends for like 10+ years now. Started dating 2/3 years ago. There were a lot of ups and downs and they broke up more than twice. The break ups lasting from a few days/weeks to a few months. He was never serious about relationships except with her. He said things like he felt the love he felt for her was "sacred" and that people say "I love you too often when they are not actually in love" (implying that he had now found true love with her). Whenever she broke up with him he would always go after her. For e.g if she unfollowed him on twitter following a break up he would almost never unfollow her. He would only do so after a long time. And one time he was absolutely devastated and was quoting things like "When the person you are so attached to leaves you feel so lost", "For me it has always been her no matter how hard I try to deny it, she is undeniable". Lol H is friends kind of joked around about it presumably because they knew they would get back together? Idk.
He really wanted to get married to her and tried very hard to convince his parents. His parents didn't really approve of their relationship and his close friends also apparently advised him that it wouldn't really work out. Their relationship seemed very volatile with her kind of always being suspicious of him because he has a bit of a ladies man reputation and can be very flirty. Anyway they broke up again and less than a week later our "wedding" was arranged. She says she broke up with him because he was "treating her like a joke". Its been a couple of weeks now and I am just soooooo confused.
First of all he obviously still loves his 'ex' (technically). They probably would have gotten back together if it wasn't for this. I feel like I am intruding on their relationship. I also feel insignificant compared to them. They both are obviously older than myself, very popular and out-going, people say they are such a cool and crazy couple. They are both also very good-looking and very successful in their own right.
Me on the other hand, young and confused, really introverted and reserved with most people and I feel like I'm nothing compared to them. :( I'm not at all good looking (very very plain and I mean it), not popular, no one has ever asked me out and I'm so confused about life and don't know what to do with myself let alone be successful at anything. I also feel like I am less intelligent than both of them even though this might not actually be true.
To make it worse I kind of like the guy haha. I am attracted to him and I like his personality (although I'm unsure of whether we can actually work together). And I am so incredibly jealous of his gf. She is just stunning and has always been whereas I am like...passably attractive on my best days (and on my worst? you don't wanna know lol) She is skinny, quite clever, very liked by pretty much everyone. She also has a 'wild side' which I think he really likes. She is funny too. I feel like I am just idealizing her almost because I don't even know her. But this is the impression I get. And I am jealous that she is the one who he loves so much. And I don't even think he could even be remotely attracted to me. :( We do have a lot of things in common esp. intellectually. I think we are compatible intellectually but overall I think THEY probably work better together? They seem to be 'cut from the same cloth' so to speak.
How do I even begin to sort this out? Getting out of this arranged marriage isn't even a possibility right now. And my jealousy of his gf is eating me up and I just feel like an unwanted extra tbh. I don't have any specific questions as ANY advice would be appreciated right now :(
Does it sound like what they had was something real? I feel like if she wasn't involved this whole situation would be so much simpler and I maybe could have gone into this situation more positively and actually would consider happily marrying him (after getting to know him better).
TL;DR: Unwanted arranged marriage with a guy who has JUST broken up with ex, still loves her, I am insecure and have low self-esteem and am jealous of her and their relationship. Dunno what to do.
Warning: It is long and it is honestly going to sound like a Bollywood story lol but is very much real unfortunately :(
So basically my wedding has been arranged with this guy. Its not your typical forced marriage but for reasons best left unsaid I can't really say no (my conscience isn't letting me even though I have the option of saying no). The guy isn't happy with the situation either as it was all the sudden. The real problem comes is his ex-girlfriend/girlfriend.
A little bit of history of them. The guy is 28 and the girl 30. I am 21 if that is somehow relevant. They have been friends for like 10+ years now. Started dating 2/3 years ago. There were a lot of ups and downs and they broke up more than twice. The break ups lasting from a few days/weeks to a few months. He was never serious about relationships except with her. He said things like he felt the love he felt for her was "sacred" and that people say "I love you too often when they are not actually in love" (implying that he had now found true love with her). Whenever she broke up with him he would always go after her. For e.g if she unfollowed him on twitter following a break up he would almost never unfollow her. He would only do so after a long time. And one time he was absolutely devastated and was quoting things like "When the person you are so attached to leaves you feel so lost", "For me it has always been her no matter how hard I try to deny it, she is undeniable". Lol H is friends kind of joked around about it presumably because they knew they would get back together? Idk.
He really wanted to get married to her and tried very hard to convince his parents. His parents didn't really approve of their relationship and his close friends also apparently advised him that it wouldn't really work out. Their relationship seemed very volatile with her kind of always being suspicious of him because he has a bit of a ladies man reputation and can be very flirty. Anyway they broke up again and less than a week later our "wedding" was arranged. She says she broke up with him because he was "treating her like a joke". Its been a couple of weeks now and I am just soooooo confused.
First of all he obviously still loves his 'ex' (technically). They probably would have gotten back together if it wasn't for this. I feel like I am intruding on their relationship. I also feel insignificant compared to them. They both are obviously older than myself, very popular and out-going, people say they are such a cool and crazy couple. They are both also very good-looking and very successful in their own right.
Me on the other hand, young and confused, really introverted and reserved with most people and I feel like I'm nothing compared to them. :( I'm not at all good looking (very very plain and I mean it), not popular, no one has ever asked me out and I'm so confused about life and don't know what to do with myself let alone be successful at anything. I also feel like I am less intelligent than both of them even though this might not actually be true.
To make it worse I kind of like the guy haha. I am attracted to him and I like his personality (although I'm unsure of whether we can actually work together). And I am so incredibly jealous of his gf. She is just stunning and has always been whereas I am like...passably attractive on my best days (and on my worst? you don't wanna know lol) She is skinny, quite clever, very liked by pretty much everyone. She also has a 'wild side' which I think he really likes. She is funny too. I feel like I am just idealizing her almost because I don't even know her. But this is the impression I get. And I am jealous that she is the one who he loves so much. And I don't even think he could even be remotely attracted to me. :( We do have a lot of things in common esp. intellectually. I think we are compatible intellectually but overall I think THEY probably work better together? They seem to be 'cut from the same cloth' so to speak.
How do I even begin to sort this out? Getting out of this arranged marriage isn't even a possibility right now. And my jealousy of his gf is eating me up and I just feel like an unwanted extra tbh. I don't have any specific questions as ANY advice would be appreciated right now :(
Does it sound like what they had was something real? I feel like if she wasn't involved this whole situation would be so much simpler and I maybe could have gone into this situation more positively and actually would consider happily marrying him (after getting to know him better).
TL;DR: Unwanted arranged marriage with a guy who has JUST broken up with ex, still loves her, I am insecure and have low self-esteem and am jealous of her and their relationship. Dunno what to do.
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