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Going Through Divorce & Regrets

When does the pain and grief stop. Was married 14 years ( I supported her for the first 7 while she was in university and the next 7I was the major bread winner) and wife walked out with our two kids. You will ask why? We are an interracial couple, I'm black and she is white. From day one there was always an issue re her family who are very controlling...over the yrs. we (her family & I) grew to accept each other but it was always something or another. I know I made mistakes, I worked hard to reach the top of the corporate ladder and in some ways neglected my family as I was focused on work. I fell sick from exhaustion and was pushed out of job. Wife said the way you work dedicated, why do you not work for yourself. After getting the all clear from the doctor, we decided to open a business. It was hard, banks said no....we mortgaged everything house, cars etc...we opened about 9 months later 4 months later than we wanted to because of construction. Throu gh all that time she was the only bread winner. It was hard at times because we did not see a way to get over $500K for the investment and it would basically freak her out. Many times we argued, but I would assure her we would get it opened. We opened things were slow and they picked up and then came the summer...it was dead slow. Her parents were pushing at us to say we are in debt debt sell the house sell.....business was running but slow. Her salary paid all the home bills and part of the business. I cancelled our summer vacation as I was worried about money. One day came home and she was gone, called her and she said she could not take it anymore and moved in with her parents (4000 sq ft house) . She did not pay any bills. I fell behind in home bills including mortgage, bills at work etc....eventually landlord closed the business down for non payment of rent for two months. The business closed. We lost the house, cars etc business.. basically everything. She filed for d ivorce. It has been hard, regrets regrets. I moved away hoping the pain would go away....I can't get thoughts memories out of my head. Something I have not admitted and that is I still deeply love her. She and he family are I think using the kids as pawns...I miss my kids....where ever I go I see things that remind me of her, the kids our family and what we wanted as a family. How do you get over these things. Have do drive for work...........I feel sad, hurt, remorseful, lonely, afraid, confused....etc I would pay anything to reverse the clock. She has a nasty divorce lawyer.........I one day after getting a nasty note from her lawyer that I do not want her or her lawyer contacting me again....do what ever you want.....bad move. Now I miss her even more... How do you get through all this?

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