I didn't think I'd come to these crossroads once again. When I felt like this the last time, I held myself together by turning to drink. Then by chance I got chatting to a girl from the other side of the world. We formed friendship and a trusting one at that. I watched her grow and through the years and not a single day would pass without us having a chat. She was scared of the idea of marriage and told me she wanted to never marry anyone. We formed an online relationship and we shared everything together. Four years on and having got busy with my job, we spent less time together and now she decided to block me on facebook which was a stab through my heart. The only person I thought I had and she's moving on. Confronting her, she told me her mum wants her to get engaged and she agreed to it. I knew it will come down to it one day by never did I think she would erase 4 years of us within a click of a button. She doesn't want friendship either.
I haven't taken this decision in haste. I'm well past university years and everything in my site is a memory of her and others. Everything has been preserved by me as a memory, I've always lived with intentions of ending myself one day and after next month, I won't live past March because I feel I have done what I've needed to. Last month, I did the last rites of my grandma's funeral. My family is fragmented and my friends are non existent. I am posting this here so that I can refer back to it daily to remind me of the reasons and not to change my mind on this.
I also hold TSR close to me because I have been a lurker and such since 2004 over here. I've seen it change through times and people have come and gone and life has moved on.
I haven't taken this decision in haste. I'm well past university years and everything in my site is a memory of her and others. Everything has been preserved by me as a memory, I've always lived with intentions of ending myself one day and after next month, I won't live past March because I feel I have done what I've needed to. Last month, I did the last rites of my grandma's funeral. My family is fragmented and my friends are non existent. I am posting this here so that I can refer back to it daily to remind me of the reasons and not to change my mind on this.
I also hold TSR close to me because I have been a lurker and such since 2004 over here. I've seen it change through times and people have come and gone and life has moved on.
Put the internet to work for you.
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