I've posted my story on here before, my husband had a PA w/ a co-worker around this time last yr, it started off as an EA and soon escalated to a PA... DDay was feb 9th.. and we immediately went into counseling, he swore he'd cut off all contact with her and I later (much later) found out that it wasn't until I alerted the OW's husband that the affair ended.. He led me to believe he was serious about this recovery process, and had the nerve to take both of us out on dates on valentine's day...
Things have spiraled out of control since then, I have discovered multiple EAs, dating profiles, replies to sex ads on craigslist.. I became pregnant with our first child back in may... we tried church, marriage counseling, individual counseling, even psychiatric evaluations... come to find out he's bipolar, has ptsd, is depressed and he's on 3 different meds now... I know I'm not perfect, back in march of last year I was so angry that I actually told him I had an affair of my own and made up a whole little story about how it happened... stupidest thing I could have ever done.. I was so angry, and desperate for him to feel what I felt.. and since then.. but it NEVER happened... I've never broken my vows.. but he thinks he has the right to stomp on me and mistreat me because he says I'm "just like him" and so I have "no right to tell him anything..
and I tried to deal with all his lies, his bad temper, his bad attitude, I put up with it for as long as I could.. thinking maybe things would change once the baby arrived (I didn't get pregnant on purpose.. it just sort of happened, really bad timing but oh well). But then in oct. of last year I told him I'd had enough I couldn't deal with his temper or his attitude and the way he belittled me and constantly put me down for something that NEVER happened, something that I DIDN'T do that he actually did, multiple times.. He started smoking and drinking and blamed me for it... he blamed me for all his affairs as well, because I apparently "didn't give him enough attention"... he blamed me for his bad temper because I "refused to face consequences for the "affair" that I had, but thought HE had to make amends for what he'd done, and that just wasn't fair" he said.
So I kicked him out in October, he moved out to a friend's house.. continued to live his bachelor life, making me look like the worst person in the world... for the past 2 months we've only seen each other once a week (for doctor's appointments).. I have an appointment every week since I'm due on the 17th.. communication between us has really minimized.. and whenever I do see him, we don't speak.. he's so cold and distant.. Frankly, I don't even know why he shows up to the appointments.. Just to give me the cold shoulder?
Yesterday he sent me a text asking me to be his valentine.. It brought back bad memories of last year's valentine's day.. I turned him down and told him I wasn't going to be just another girl on the side.. his response was "...fine"...
But I'm not sure why he asked me to be his valentine in the first place, last month we agreed we would divorce after our son was born... I've had to distance myself and asked him not to text me or call me unless it's an emergency or it involves our son.. I felt I just had to do this to protect myself from anymore pain. I know he's not going to change, and I know I screwed up majorly by telling him I had an affair when I didn't, and he's forever going to try to make me pay for that..... It just feels like divorce is the only way, but it still hurts..
It hurts that I'm going to be alone on valentine's day, and it hurts to think that my unborn son is soon going to be brought into all this drama and chaos...:(
Things have spiraled out of control since then, I have discovered multiple EAs, dating profiles, replies to sex ads on craigslist.. I became pregnant with our first child back in may... we tried church, marriage counseling, individual counseling, even psychiatric evaluations... come to find out he's bipolar, has ptsd, is depressed and he's on 3 different meds now... I know I'm not perfect, back in march of last year I was so angry that I actually told him I had an affair of my own and made up a whole little story about how it happened... stupidest thing I could have ever done.. I was so angry, and desperate for him to feel what I felt.. and since then.. but it NEVER happened... I've never broken my vows.. but he thinks he has the right to stomp on me and mistreat me because he says I'm "just like him" and so I have "no right to tell him anything..
and I tried to deal with all his lies, his bad temper, his bad attitude, I put up with it for as long as I could.. thinking maybe things would change once the baby arrived (I didn't get pregnant on purpose.. it just sort of happened, really bad timing but oh well). But then in oct. of last year I told him I'd had enough I couldn't deal with his temper or his attitude and the way he belittled me and constantly put me down for something that NEVER happened, something that I DIDN'T do that he actually did, multiple times.. He started smoking and drinking and blamed me for it... he blamed me for all his affairs as well, because I apparently "didn't give him enough attention"... he blamed me for his bad temper because I "refused to face consequences for the "affair" that I had, but thought HE had to make amends for what he'd done, and that just wasn't fair" he said.
So I kicked him out in October, he moved out to a friend's house.. continued to live his bachelor life, making me look like the worst person in the world... for the past 2 months we've only seen each other once a week (for doctor's appointments).. I have an appointment every week since I'm due on the 17th.. communication between us has really minimized.. and whenever I do see him, we don't speak.. he's so cold and distant.. Frankly, I don't even know why he shows up to the appointments.. Just to give me the cold shoulder?
Yesterday he sent me a text asking me to be his valentine.. It brought back bad memories of last year's valentine's day.. I turned him down and told him I wasn't going to be just another girl on the side.. his response was "...fine"...
But I'm not sure why he asked me to be his valentine in the first place, last month we agreed we would divorce after our son was born... I've had to distance myself and asked him not to text me or call me unless it's an emergency or it involves our son.. I felt I just had to do this to protect myself from anymore pain. I know he's not going to change, and I know I screwed up majorly by telling him I had an affair when I didn't, and he's forever going to try to make me pay for that..... It just feels like divorce is the only way, but it still hurts..
It hurts that I'm going to be alone on valentine's day, and it hurts to think that my unborn son is soon going to be brought into all this drama and chaos...:(
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