My husband and I are 29, have been married for almost 4 years and have been together for nearly a decade (living together for 8 years). We do not have children yet. We both have full time jobs outside of the home. I work 8 ten hour over night shifts in a row at a local hospital and then have 6 nights off. I also have multiple sclerosis and struggle with the extreme fatigue that goes along with this darn disease. I worked full time all through college and grad school. Changing schedules isn't an option at this time as we need the shift differential it provides (extra $5 an hour) to pay off our credit card debt this year. My husband works a standard 9-5 job Monday through Friday and dropped out of college, refusing to go back even though I have tried and tried to encourage him to finish his degree.
When I get home from work in the morning, I try to do some dishes and laundry and some quick tidying up and then go to bed to get ready for my next shift. I spend most of my off weekend time sleeping to recover from the work week & MS fatigue, cleaning the house and doing laundry and running errands. My husband, however, sits on his butt every night after work playing an online computer game (World of Warcraft) and does the same thing on the weekends. He doesn't do any kind of chores unless I ask/tell him to and then he complains about it the entire time.
This past weekend we went away on a romantic weekend for my birthday. Please note that I made the arrangements for the weekend and paid for it. Unfortunately, I was completely exhausted and needed a 4 hour nap each day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday because I didn't sleep well during the night, and he got angry about it. I apologized over and over again for ruining our weekend, I felt terrible about it.
Tonight he intentionally played his stupid video game during the precious hour we have to spend together in the evening before I go to work at night. Before he bought the computer for the game we agreed that he wouldn't play it while I was home. He did this to get back at me for falling asleep last weekend (he admitted he did it intentionally). My husband doesn't understand how utterly exhausted I am. He doesn't understand how hard it is to make my body be awake during the day when I'm used to sleeping at that time.
It is a slap in the face to realize that I have absolutely no support from him. I feel alone. He complains about the fact that I'm so tired all the time, but hasn't done anything to improve his work position (he makes half as much money as I do...if we could afford for me to reduce my hours, I would!!), nor has he made any effort to curb his spending so that we could afford for me to change shifts.
I don't know what to do, I'm at my wit's end. I love him very much, but I'm so angry with him and fed up with everything. It seems like we have the same talk every month, I ask him to help with the chores around the house and he does NOTHING (he doesn't even do the outdoor "man" tasks)and now he has the audacity to hold something that I have no control over (chronic fatigue) over my head.
I would appreciate any advice you all might have.
When I get home from work in the morning, I try to do some dishes and laundry and some quick tidying up and then go to bed to get ready for my next shift. I spend most of my off weekend time sleeping to recover from the work week & MS fatigue, cleaning the house and doing laundry and running errands. My husband, however, sits on his butt every night after work playing an online computer game (World of Warcraft) and does the same thing on the weekends. He doesn't do any kind of chores unless I ask/tell him to and then he complains about it the entire time.
This past weekend we went away on a romantic weekend for my birthday. Please note that I made the arrangements for the weekend and paid for it. Unfortunately, I was completely exhausted and needed a 4 hour nap each day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday because I didn't sleep well during the night, and he got angry about it. I apologized over and over again for ruining our weekend, I felt terrible about it.
Tonight he intentionally played his stupid video game during the precious hour we have to spend together in the evening before I go to work at night. Before he bought the computer for the game we agreed that he wouldn't play it while I was home. He did this to get back at me for falling asleep last weekend (he admitted he did it intentionally). My husband doesn't understand how utterly exhausted I am. He doesn't understand how hard it is to make my body be awake during the day when I'm used to sleeping at that time.
It is a slap in the face to realize that I have absolutely no support from him. I feel alone. He complains about the fact that I'm so tired all the time, but hasn't done anything to improve his work position (he makes half as much money as I do...if we could afford for me to reduce my hours, I would!!), nor has he made any effort to curb his spending so that we could afford for me to change shifts.
I don't know what to do, I'm at my wit's end. I love him very much, but I'm so angry with him and fed up with everything. It seems like we have the same talk every month, I ask him to help with the chores around the house and he does NOTHING (he doesn't even do the outdoor "man" tasks)and now he has the audacity to hold something that I have no control over (chronic fatigue) over my head.
I would appreciate any advice you all might have.
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