I think this is the best section to post about this. Curious if others have felt that way. Have you ever had your desire to be a mother, "baby fever," and your marriage being a wreck coincide? I am trying to figure out ways to cope with this. Usually when people feel this way about wanting a baby I feel that they want to have that baby regardless of the circumstances, maybe even think that the baby will "fix" their marriage. Well, I am the opposite. Although for a little over a year now I have had the desire to become a mother, I have no desire to have one with my husband, at the moment. Like zero. In fact right before things had taken a turn for the worse we had talked about trying to conceive, and of course that plug was rightfully pulled. I am very wary of having a baby with this man until I know that we are going to survive and strengthen our marriage, basically not get divorced!
Point is, I still have a strong desire to be a mother. After trying to conceive plans getting cut out last year, I kept thinking if we worked on things that we maybe could the next year. The way things are going that doesn't look too hopeful either. We are starting counseling, but I feel that things need to be "good" for at least a year until we would even think of having a baby together. But, like I said, I am still heartbroken. I am so ready to be a mother, just not with my husband as of yet. I am worried about the ol' "biological clock." I am in my late 20s, so I know have quite a bit of time, but I had wanted to start a family by now. And knowing that the soonest that could be possible would be a year is heartbreaking. And if my husband and I do get a divorce, then even longer. Sometimes I am mad at him for "ruining" our chances of having a family, but I know that I am probably also to blame.
How do I deal with this "grieving" type feeling of delaying a family? Besides seeking to repair the marriage, which we are now pursuing. It is so strange to want to be a mother, but not necessarily with your husband (though I do with him, just not with the way things are).
Point is, I still have a strong desire to be a mother. After trying to conceive plans getting cut out last year, I kept thinking if we worked on things that we maybe could the next year. The way things are going that doesn't look too hopeful either. We are starting counseling, but I feel that things need to be "good" for at least a year until we would even think of having a baby together. But, like I said, I am still heartbroken. I am so ready to be a mother, just not with my husband as of yet. I am worried about the ol' "biological clock." I am in my late 20s, so I know have quite a bit of time, but I had wanted to start a family by now. And knowing that the soonest that could be possible would be a year is heartbreaking. And if my husband and I do get a divorce, then even longer. Sometimes I am mad at him for "ruining" our chances of having a family, but I know that I am probably also to blame.
How do I deal with this "grieving" type feeling of delaying a family? Besides seeking to repair the marriage, which we are now pursuing. It is so strange to want to be a mother, but not necessarily with your husband (though I do with him, just not with the way things are).
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment