My hubby and I have been married for 30 years. Before he met me he had been engaged to another girl, they broke up, 2 years later he met me, we started off just friends, after about 18 months we started to hold hands, kiss sometimes. We slowly grew to love each other. I knew about the previous relationship but I always thought it was completely finished before he met me. I thought we were mostly happy in our relationship. Now, just a few days after our 30th wedding anniversary he started acting weird. He has never been a lovey-dovey kind of man. Not affectionate unless he wants sex. He isn't interested in being friends, doesn't talk much, comes home from work, plays a game with our youngest child for maybe half an hour, then goes on the computer and stays there until bed time. Suddenly he's affectionate, telling me all that time that he loves me, I'm special to him, he'd be lost without me, complimenting me, praising my cooking - he's never done any of th at before. I made jokes about him having an affair and he didn't say anything. He leaves his computer on all the time so after a few weeks of this odd behaviour I looked at what was on the screen. I found out that he had been looking for his first love for nearly 2 years. And he found her. And she's very willing to have a relationship with him again. She's married, has grown children. He's married, has grown children and a 7 year old. They don't bother to hide their relationship. The computer is in the main living area of the house, and it's still on all the time. They speak of their love for each other, how they'll never be apart again. They call and text each other a lot too. Every day. So far it's only a phone and internet relationship, on Face Book, but I feel betrayed. When I told him I knew what he was doing he got really angry, told me I shouldn't have looked at his computer, broke some furniture, blamed me for ruining a good thing. I told him I won't be anyone's sec ond choice. He told me that if people hadn't interfered when they broke up years ago he would never have married me. He says he doesn't see what the problem is because he's willing to stay here and support us. But all that does is give him 2 wives. I do all the normal wife stuff and she provides the fun and entertainment. I want to leave him but I can't yet, have to sell the house, but while we're waiting I said I wanted an in-house separation. We agreed on rules. Separate bed-rooms, no physical touching of any kind, I cook, clean, run the house and do the books as usual, he brings in the money. My problem is he wont stick to the rules. He is in my personal space all the time, touching, stroking, hugging, kissing, wanting to hold my hand. I can't even use the toilet without him waiting for me to get out so he can hug etc. I don't hug him back, I refuse to hold his hand, I move away from him as much as possible. If we drive anywhere together he has his hand on my thigh the w hole time. If I remove it he does this whole hurt act, like I'm the one doing the wrong thing. It's driving me crazy!! I feel suffocated. He comes into my room at night and wants to get into bed with me. I tell him no. So he sits beside my bed because he wants to be with me. And it's always in the middle of the night, so he's disturbing my sleep almost every night. He refuses to give up the other woman, they're going to spend a week together next month. He wants to keep both of us. He tells me she's a really nice, caring person. Neither of them want to hurt anyone. Am I being unreasonable? Is an internet relationship the same as an affair? He complains a lot that he's confused. I don't agree, I think he just wants to have it all his own way. Our adult kids are disgusted with his behaviour and generally avoid him. Our little one is confused because Daddy wont play games with her any more, he's too busy on the computer. I can't stop checking his Face Book account now to see wh at they're up to. He knows I do it and he doesn't care. I feel really hurt but I would consider staying together if I knew he had given her up, but I don't see how I can trust him anymore.
Put the internet to work for you.
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