I cannot believe myself posting this, but I am desperate for some advises and maybe some exchange ideas of how to cope with my situation.
We are married for 16 years now, four years ago, out of carelessness or on purpose I discover his secret affair with a much younger women than me. He opened his email in my laptop and forget to log off before we go for a summer vacation, when I came back to my office the first thing that flashes the screen was his email to his mistress saying the sweetest message you can ever imagine. At first I thought it was for me but then realization strikes me that it was not. I confronted him about it immediately and he tried to denied it but then I slap him with the printed email, he said sorry it was a mistake on his side, he said it was just some unexpected things and he will correct it and break up with her....from then on I never trusted him and always have this feeling of jealousy and possessiveness. Our relationship became like a roller coster ride, I came to know that the break up was just a fake and she is still around and continuing the relationship because after 3 year she be came pregnant, I confronted him again about it and he denied that it was his child, but then again some of our common friends sent me a picture of them together.
I love my husband so much that I can forgive him with all these as long as he is with me and he is coming home every night with me, I thought that was enough, I just don't want our family to break. We have a son by the way. He is a well respected businessman, a wealthy one, that is why every woman wants a piece of him, he is always generous. I know I cannot change him nor control him, so I accepted and forgive him again, we still fight sometimes because I became obsessed on him to the extent that I'm calling him many times everyday, trying to know where he is , what time he is coming home. That I guess pissed him but still so patient about me, recently,like 3 months ago by mistake again or he said he did it on purpose to divert my attention from being jealous about his new family, he send me an email that he's suppose to send to a new girl, ( another one ) saying the same sweet message he uses to the previous one, ( he is very good in writing sweet emails that will make you melt ) I confronted him and he said it does not exist, he just made it up to divert my attention, I didn't believed him and I opened his iPad and found out about this new affair which is blooming to the fullest to the extent that the woman is asking him to separate with me.
Last December he went for a business trip (he said) and for the first time did not spend Christmas with us, he was out for 10 days without calling or even not answering my calls which is very unlikely for him to do so. When he return he have of course valid explanations for that, I kept quite and observed him, after a week he went again for another 15 days with the same attitude, then when he comes back I cornered him and he said he cannot continue with me he wants out, he wants separation, I was shocked it was all so sudden to me I didn't know what to say, I felt like the whole room was swirling, like there is this hot blood going up and down my body, I don't know..he said we can settle amicably and can still be friends, I have to be civil because I do not want to fight.
But I love him so much I start begging him to try to work it out again, I'm playing it cool but deep inside me I cannot accept that this is really happening, I don't know what to do, where to start, knowing he's not mine anymore is killing me. I know this is inevitable and that scaring me so much. We never been separated all these years and thinking of living without him next to me......I don't know how to cope.. To anyone with the same situation or gone through the same, please advise me how to start...what is the first move.
Waiting for some advise.
Bimbam
We are married for 16 years now, four years ago, out of carelessness or on purpose I discover his secret affair with a much younger women than me. He opened his email in my laptop and forget to log off before we go for a summer vacation, when I came back to my office the first thing that flashes the screen was his email to his mistress saying the sweetest message you can ever imagine. At first I thought it was for me but then realization strikes me that it was not. I confronted him about it immediately and he tried to denied it but then I slap him with the printed email, he said sorry it was a mistake on his side, he said it was just some unexpected things and he will correct it and break up with her....from then on I never trusted him and always have this feeling of jealousy and possessiveness. Our relationship became like a roller coster ride, I came to know that the break up was just a fake and she is still around and continuing the relationship because after 3 year she be came pregnant, I confronted him again about it and he denied that it was his child, but then again some of our common friends sent me a picture of them together.
I love my husband so much that I can forgive him with all these as long as he is with me and he is coming home every night with me, I thought that was enough, I just don't want our family to break. We have a son by the way. He is a well respected businessman, a wealthy one, that is why every woman wants a piece of him, he is always generous. I know I cannot change him nor control him, so I accepted and forgive him again, we still fight sometimes because I became obsessed on him to the extent that I'm calling him many times everyday, trying to know where he is , what time he is coming home. That I guess pissed him but still so patient about me, recently,like 3 months ago by mistake again or he said he did it on purpose to divert my attention from being jealous about his new family, he send me an email that he's suppose to send to a new girl, ( another one ) saying the same sweet message he uses to the previous one, ( he is very good in writing sweet emails that will make you melt ) I confronted him and he said it does not exist, he just made it up to divert my attention, I didn't believed him and I opened his iPad and found out about this new affair which is blooming to the fullest to the extent that the woman is asking him to separate with me.
Last December he went for a business trip (he said) and for the first time did not spend Christmas with us, he was out for 10 days without calling or even not answering my calls which is very unlikely for him to do so. When he return he have of course valid explanations for that, I kept quite and observed him, after a week he went again for another 15 days with the same attitude, then when he comes back I cornered him and he said he cannot continue with me he wants out, he wants separation, I was shocked it was all so sudden to me I didn't know what to say, I felt like the whole room was swirling, like there is this hot blood going up and down my body, I don't know..he said we can settle amicably and can still be friends, I have to be civil because I do not want to fight.
But I love him so much I start begging him to try to work it out again, I'm playing it cool but deep inside me I cannot accept that this is really happening, I don't know what to do, where to start, knowing he's not mine anymore is killing me. I know this is inevitable and that scaring me so much. We never been separated all these years and thinking of living without him next to me......I don't know how to cope.. To anyone with the same situation or gone through the same, please advise me how to start...what is the first move.
Waiting for some advise.
Bimbam
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