Now let me start by saying this is not about the issues in your marriage your Ws had that they say you are responsible for.
This is what your WS brought with them into your marriage things you didn't find out until after you were married or that came out during Dday.
For me I knew my wife came from a serial cheater's household, I even changed the locks of the in laws house during one of the episodes.
What I didn't know was just how dysfunctional her relationship with her father was and the problems it caused in her life(and mine of course)
Then several years into our marriage I found out she had been abused by a neighbor from the age of 9 to 13.
All this stuff gets brought up during dday and days after as reasons why; the insecurity, low self esteem, jealously etc.
Honestly at times I think I bought a nice shiny car that has engine problems and the dealer screwed me.
Saying this because there are times when I think except for my children why did I have to marry this one, I am sure this is me looking for some pity, but hang a sign around your neck that says just what the h3ll is going on in your head so we know just how fu6ked up you are. My decision to marry may have been different if I had known some of the things she went through. I have my own horror stories from my past but none that made me feel the need to cheat on my wife so while living with me is no picnic I am sure at least I have been faithful.
So passing this on to you do you feel this way too, I know from reading your stories that I am not alone many of our Ws seem to have similar issues and have used these issues as their reasons.
I am not sure why I bring this up today we haven't had too many problems and she did dismiss these things as valid reasons fro her choice, of course like many cheaters their actual reasons are very vague.
This is what your WS brought with them into your marriage things you didn't find out until after you were married or that came out during Dday.
For me I knew my wife came from a serial cheater's household, I even changed the locks of the in laws house during one of the episodes.
What I didn't know was just how dysfunctional her relationship with her father was and the problems it caused in her life(and mine of course)
Then several years into our marriage I found out she had been abused by a neighbor from the age of 9 to 13.
All this stuff gets brought up during dday and days after as reasons why; the insecurity, low self esteem, jealously etc.
Honestly at times I think I bought a nice shiny car that has engine problems and the dealer screwed me.
Saying this because there are times when I think except for my children why did I have to marry this one, I am sure this is me looking for some pity, but hang a sign around your neck that says just what the h3ll is going on in your head so we know just how fu6ked up you are. My decision to marry may have been different if I had known some of the things she went through. I have my own horror stories from my past but none that made me feel the need to cheat on my wife so while living with me is no picnic I am sure at least I have been faithful.
So passing this on to you do you feel this way too, I know from reading your stories that I am not alone many of our Ws seem to have similar issues and have used these issues as their reasons.
I am not sure why I bring this up today we haven't had too many problems and she did dismiss these things as valid reasons fro her choice, of course like many cheaters their actual reasons are very vague.
Put the internet to work for you.
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