We have been married for 12 years and have a 5yr old daughter. Since our daughter was born a slow distance has grown between my wife and I. My wife has been a stay at home mom since our childs birth and we have struggled financially but I worked hard so she could be there because of child care expenses and her desire to be home. My downfall that Ive learned is that as hard as tried to do everything so she wouldnt have to, regardless of my intentions, I became what I thought I wouldnt, controlling, over bearing and took away her independence. I realize now what I was doing wrong but afraid I might be too late.
She has tried many times to talk to me about intimacy in our relationship and well I blew her off and it turned into an argument. I always thought she was talking about our bedroom life, which has always been great, but I didnt realize the emotional aspect of it. Another downfall. So for years I struggled with stress about our finances and the disconnect I felt from my wife and why she wasnt enthusiastic about our marriage and doing things as a family. Six months ago she began working from home with an internet radio company and the happiness and excitement I saw in her because she was doing something that involved music and writing a change came over me and I too became excited for her.
She was alive again and I tried to share in her excitement that I think I overwhelmed her. One thing I must mention that during those 2 months she never was paid and things at home started to get neglected due to her involvement with this company even our daughter. I became frustrated and when I confronted her about it we would fight. She started having late night chats with a male coworker who luckily is 3000miles away but I over heard some chats late at night and it hurt. She was confiding in a stranger things about our emotional life and instead of talking about it I tried to show more affection. That didnt work. One night we fought so bad she told me that she didnt was in love with me anymore. I was destroyed. Our sex life went through the roof and for the next 3 weeks whenever I tried to ask her why she said what she did we would fight. She eventually left me and our daughter and went to live with her father in the next town.
During those 1st 2 weeks I ended up needing emergencey surgery after tearing my acl in my knee and had to let my daughter go live with her and change schools. I did everything I shouldnt of to get her back. Pleading pouring my heart out saying id change and all I did was push her away. After my surgery I was on disibility at 50% pay and knowing I would not be able to keep our home is the reason I did the things I did. Desperation. Ive now lost our home and had to move 2hrs away to my mothers. My wife still has not been paid by this company and I am in search of a new job. We do communicate but only a little a bit about us. I do see my daughter as often as I can but Im miserable. My has said she still loves me and is physically attracted to me but she still is emotionally unattached. I called her family about her involvement with this company and they had already knew.
I have gotten over most of my anxiety and depression but I still want to save my marriage and reconnect with my wife. I have done everything I can do to learn what to do and feel confident in myself and want use it to save my marriage. I am struggling with breaking the ice talking with her and not sure how to go about it. The tension between us seems almost gone but I need to regain her trust. I know she is struggling and want to help but how do I go about bringing her back emotionally to me? She has no choice to continue contact with the other guy but has admitted there is no attraction to him other than as a friend and he is married as well. Please help I need reunite my family and make my marriage better.
Thank you.
She has tried many times to talk to me about intimacy in our relationship and well I blew her off and it turned into an argument. I always thought she was talking about our bedroom life, which has always been great, but I didnt realize the emotional aspect of it. Another downfall. So for years I struggled with stress about our finances and the disconnect I felt from my wife and why she wasnt enthusiastic about our marriage and doing things as a family. Six months ago she began working from home with an internet radio company and the happiness and excitement I saw in her because she was doing something that involved music and writing a change came over me and I too became excited for her.
She was alive again and I tried to share in her excitement that I think I overwhelmed her. One thing I must mention that during those 2 months she never was paid and things at home started to get neglected due to her involvement with this company even our daughter. I became frustrated and when I confronted her about it we would fight. She started having late night chats with a male coworker who luckily is 3000miles away but I over heard some chats late at night and it hurt. She was confiding in a stranger things about our emotional life and instead of talking about it I tried to show more affection. That didnt work. One night we fought so bad she told me that she didnt was in love with me anymore. I was destroyed. Our sex life went through the roof and for the next 3 weeks whenever I tried to ask her why she said what she did we would fight. She eventually left me and our daughter and went to live with her father in the next town.
During those 1st 2 weeks I ended up needing emergencey surgery after tearing my acl in my knee and had to let my daughter go live with her and change schools. I did everything I shouldnt of to get her back. Pleading pouring my heart out saying id change and all I did was push her away. After my surgery I was on disibility at 50% pay and knowing I would not be able to keep our home is the reason I did the things I did. Desperation. Ive now lost our home and had to move 2hrs away to my mothers. My wife still has not been paid by this company and I am in search of a new job. We do communicate but only a little a bit about us. I do see my daughter as often as I can but Im miserable. My has said she still loves me and is physically attracted to me but she still is emotionally unattached. I called her family about her involvement with this company and they had already knew.
I have gotten over most of my anxiety and depression but I still want to save my marriage and reconnect with my wife. I have done everything I can do to learn what to do and feel confident in myself and want use it to save my marriage. I am struggling with breaking the ice talking with her and not sure how to go about it. The tension between us seems almost gone but I need to regain her trust. I know she is struggling and want to help but how do I go about bringing her back emotionally to me? She has no choice to continue contact with the other guy but has admitted there is no attraction to him other than as a friend and he is married as well. Please help I need reunite my family and make my marriage better.
Thank you.
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