I will try to make it short and I hope to get a good advice rather than a judgment. I have been married for 17 y to a nice, quiet, loyal, financially supportive but extremely boring person. For the past several years, I feel that we've been living together like roommates. He lives his own life, I live mine. He is very antisocial (no friends) and prefers to stay at home 24/7 by the TV. I am an active person and I like to interact with people, so I am out a lot. He doesn't say anything.
The word LOVE should not be even mentioned here. We haven't been sexually active for years. All I have for him is respect and a friendship. I do not know what he feels for me. He doesn't talk to me about it and I am not really interested to find out. I know he is not happy that I go out on the weekends and probably suspicious that I am having an affair but he never steps forward to discuss our relationship (not that I want to). On daily bases we act like nothing bad is happening. I cook and clean for him, and we have dinner together, watch movies, talk about politics, work, laugh and so on. My friends say I have a weird marriage. I think so too.
Thus, my understanding of my marriage is that we live together out of convenience. Now I begin to get interested in different men and thinking about starting a new life on my own but...here it is where I hit a brick wall. I do not know where to start and how to start. I do not believe in marriage counseling ( I am not saving the marriage). With lawyers I only see hungry eyes for $$$. My husband is retired, I am working. We do not have kids and leaving him should not be a problem. I have never lived in this country on my own ( I came from Europe) and I know I am afraid of difficulties that I may encounter financially and emotionally, and I can not overcome that fear. I do not know who can encourage me and convince me that I can do it. I am only 43 and I want to have a normal life.
Thank you in advance.
The word LOVE should not be even mentioned here. We haven't been sexually active for years. All I have for him is respect and a friendship. I do not know what he feels for me. He doesn't talk to me about it and I am not really interested to find out. I know he is not happy that I go out on the weekends and probably suspicious that I am having an affair but he never steps forward to discuss our relationship (not that I want to). On daily bases we act like nothing bad is happening. I cook and clean for him, and we have dinner together, watch movies, talk about politics, work, laugh and so on. My friends say I have a weird marriage. I think so too.
Thus, my understanding of my marriage is that we live together out of convenience. Now I begin to get interested in different men and thinking about starting a new life on my own but...here it is where I hit a brick wall. I do not know where to start and how to start. I do not believe in marriage counseling ( I am not saving the marriage). With lawyers I only see hungry eyes for $$$. My husband is retired, I am working. We do not have kids and leaving him should not be a problem. I have never lived in this country on my own ( I came from Europe) and I know I am afraid of difficulties that I may encounter financially and emotionally, and I can not overcome that fear. I do not know who can encourage me and convince me that I can do it. I am only 43 and I want to have a normal life.
Thank you in advance.
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