Hello!
Essentially the tl:dr is the title but in a slightly longer version:
I'm 22 and am doing a Masters having taken a gap year after graduating. I have never had a relationship of any sort, been shot down by the only person who I told I liked (not just rejected once but an ongoing issue that could be a whole new topic.. basically really damaged my self esteem but I am over all that nonsense now)
During the first year of my undergrad I had a friend (Steve) who I kind of liked but he seemed hung up on an ex and then seemed to like another friend (Mary) who seemed to like him too (but had a boyfriend back home). Therefore I said and did nothing (plus I still was deluded about a guy from school).
After that summer (where I realised the guy from school was, and is an utter arse) the feeling grew stronger and Mary got with a new boyfriend. Thought that might be my chance but chickened out, despite there being a number of things that made me think I had a chance.
Anyway Steve started going out with one of Marys housemates (June). Over time we were all really close and I just ignored my jealousy. It didn't help that both sides of the relationship confided in me about it and asked advice (why they thought I knew anything was beyond me).
Fast forward 2 years, I am still very close to both of them. There have been times when I have felt I could have told him I liked him, in hindsight I know it would have been wrong.
He has said things both when they were together and since that made me think that maybe there is something, (although I have been incredibly wrong in the past). I will refrain from writing a list of these signs partly because I wouldn't know where to start and partly because I don't want to come across as a complete lunatic
Anyway she breaks up with him about a year ago. Understandably he seemed really upset, however I wasn't around and didn't actually see him for about 7 months after (or her).
Now he and I are living in the same city again. She isn't but I still consider her a good friend and see her occasionally. I don't see him as often as in the old days but I feel like I at least want a chance. They are in occasional contact I think but she made it clear last time I saw her that they would not be getting back together, and I think he accepts that/feels the same. He has been dating a few other girl since her, but so far none seem serious.
Essentially I am feeling very conflicted. I don't know if I should say anything to him as I don't know if that would hurt Jane, at the same time if I wouldn't know how to go about seeking her 'permission'.. plus if I've got the wrong end of the stick I might end up with neither.
Anyway lovely TSR your advice would be widely appreciated :)
Essentially the tl:dr is the title but in a slightly longer version:
I'm 22 and am doing a Masters having taken a gap year after graduating. I have never had a relationship of any sort, been shot down by the only person who I told I liked (not just rejected once but an ongoing issue that could be a whole new topic.. basically really damaged my self esteem but I am over all that nonsense now)
During the first year of my undergrad I had a friend (Steve) who I kind of liked but he seemed hung up on an ex and then seemed to like another friend (Mary) who seemed to like him too (but had a boyfriend back home). Therefore I said and did nothing (plus I still was deluded about a guy from school).
After that summer (where I realised the guy from school was, and is an utter arse) the feeling grew stronger and Mary got with a new boyfriend. Thought that might be my chance but chickened out, despite there being a number of things that made me think I had a chance.
Anyway Steve started going out with one of Marys housemates (June). Over time we were all really close and I just ignored my jealousy. It didn't help that both sides of the relationship confided in me about it and asked advice (why they thought I knew anything was beyond me).
Fast forward 2 years, I am still very close to both of them. There have been times when I have felt I could have told him I liked him, in hindsight I know it would have been wrong.
He has said things both when they were together and since that made me think that maybe there is something, (although I have been incredibly wrong in the past). I will refrain from writing a list of these signs partly because I wouldn't know where to start and partly because I don't want to come across as a complete lunatic
Anyway she breaks up with him about a year ago. Understandably he seemed really upset, however I wasn't around and didn't actually see him for about 7 months after (or her).
Now he and I are living in the same city again. She isn't but I still consider her a good friend and see her occasionally. I don't see him as often as in the old days but I feel like I at least want a chance. They are in occasional contact I think but she made it clear last time I saw her that they would not be getting back together, and I think he accepts that/feels the same. He has been dating a few other girl since her, but so far none seem serious.
Essentially I am feeling very conflicted. I don't know if I should say anything to him as I don't know if that would hurt Jane, at the same time if I wouldn't know how to go about seeking her 'permission'.. plus if I've got the wrong end of the stick I might end up with neither.
Anyway lovely TSR your advice would be widely appreciated :)
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