We are experiencing marital difficulty at the moment:
I work away from home(not a new thing) and my wife has been telling me not to come back home some weekends, so I do anyway as it is my home too. So I get home to an empty house on Friday with my wife arriving back late from socializing with friends. Needless to say I was a little put out as it seemed like she didn't care if I was home. So in November I say this and it leads to a huge argument about how I make her so miserable and she goes on to completely assassinate my personality and character, telling me I am no fun compared to other people(friends I can only assume), boring and way to serious and not affectionate towards her, and when I say I will try to be more affectionate, she says I cannot change as that is who I am and if I was to change it would therefore be false. She then told me to go back to where I work after the holiday season to give her a break and time to herself and told me to go find someone else. For two months now she doesn't want to be touched by me, especially anything sexual and if I try hold her hand she tells me find someone else's hand to hold. This stuff really cuts me deep and the stuff she said has shattered my confidence and I am finding it very difficult to overcome and see her in the same loving light I always did.
We tried to make it up recently but I just cannot leave the stuff she said go out of my mind and feel completely low and worthless to her if that is how she's me. I told her this and she apologised for saying it but I know she still thinks the same about me. Because she then said that I admitted being boring and serious when she said it, but of course I did say I might be boring, serious and routine based as a personality, I am certainly not a socialite like my wife. But as an apology I did not need to be insulted again and I told her this, now we cannot even talk without serious tension and stress.
Just recently I found out she is confiding in a new friend at work (male) about our marital difficulties and he is recently divorced himself and is telling her "marriage is not good" and he is so happy now.
Should I continue to fight and always now feel I am living hell as a second class person in her life while she goes out to find the find more fun in life, with people not boring and not serious and in the meantime I am the married one taking care of all the boring and serious stuff in our lives which is what I have done through out our marriage because I she does not.
She has such a grip on me I feel helpless and at the whim of her mercy.
I work away from home(not a new thing) and my wife has been telling me not to come back home some weekends, so I do anyway as it is my home too. So I get home to an empty house on Friday with my wife arriving back late from socializing with friends. Needless to say I was a little put out as it seemed like she didn't care if I was home. So in November I say this and it leads to a huge argument about how I make her so miserable and she goes on to completely assassinate my personality and character, telling me I am no fun compared to other people(friends I can only assume), boring and way to serious and not affectionate towards her, and when I say I will try to be more affectionate, she says I cannot change as that is who I am and if I was to change it would therefore be false. She then told me to go back to where I work after the holiday season to give her a break and time to herself and told me to go find someone else. For two months now she doesn't want to be touched by me, especially anything sexual and if I try hold her hand she tells me find someone else's hand to hold. This stuff really cuts me deep and the stuff she said has shattered my confidence and I am finding it very difficult to overcome and see her in the same loving light I always did.
We tried to make it up recently but I just cannot leave the stuff she said go out of my mind and feel completely low and worthless to her if that is how she's me. I told her this and she apologised for saying it but I know she still thinks the same about me. Because she then said that I admitted being boring and serious when she said it, but of course I did say I might be boring, serious and routine based as a personality, I am certainly not a socialite like my wife. But as an apology I did not need to be insulted again and I told her this, now we cannot even talk without serious tension and stress.
Just recently I found out she is confiding in a new friend at work (male) about our marital difficulties and he is recently divorced himself and is telling her "marriage is not good" and he is so happy now.
Should I continue to fight and always now feel I am living hell as a second class person in her life while she goes out to find the find more fun in life, with people not boring and not serious and in the meantime I am the married one taking care of all the boring and serious stuff in our lives which is what I have done through out our marriage because I she does not.
She has such a grip on me I feel helpless and at the whim of her mercy.
Put the internet to work for you.
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