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Six months later

It's been close to 6 months since I've confirmed my suspicions of my husbands casual sex encounter. Together for 13 years, I have evidence of cheating going back to 2005 so the last 8 years.

This is eating me up. I wake up to it. I spend all day thinking about it. I'm in limbo and want to go and want to stay. Im only sleeping 5 hours a night, I've gained 10 pounds in 2 months. I ask myself questions and then answer them. I know he has not told me the while truth ( I have evidence that he hasn't told me about when he swears he told me everything). So here's my question and he's not going to answer this honestly.

Why? Why did he have to do this a loving wife who was nothing but supportive and loving. Why am I in turmoil and he seems fine. Why do I feel that I will destroy my family when I want to separate because of his actions. Then he says things like - don't buy me a present, all I want for Christmas is my family. He makes me feel like crap for thinking of leaving him like it's my fault.

Why, why, why !!!!!!!! Is his **** so ****ing precious that he wants to destroy my life???? Is that why ????
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