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I'm a genuinely unpleasant person. How do I get a girlfriend?

It's not all bad, but I've got a series of pretty major personality flaws (bitter, impatient, spiteful, consistently negative and often disinterested etc.) I'm your typical "grumpy old man" in varying degrees of unpleasantness.

The good side of this is that I'm quite funny in a cynical way - a way which seems to appeal to male friends, but not really to females. However I want a girlfriend to share my time with and my personality is getting in the way.

So I want advice in order to

* Change my personality
* Adjust or better present my personality to women

or

* Find and attract women who appreciate me for who I am

I've had some success with women in the past and have always got on well with "tomboyish" girls. It's been a while though and I think it's fair to say my personality has become more extreme in that time.

Any advice?

IFTTT

Put the internet to work for you.

via Personal Recipe 2629979

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