Hi,
I met a girl in August and she was lovely. I spent with her the most amazing two months, and although it was short I was no doubt in love with her. She left me last month, however, to go back to her ex-boyfriend. This destroyed me. I'm still a wreck. I'm not getting over it and going crazy.
I want to hate her, but she says it's not love if I do that, and that I'm trying to hurt her on purpose. This is not true, I don't want to hurt her. But I know that it does hurt her if I hate her, but that's not what I do it. I just feel so liberated when I tell her how much she's hurt me. I can't help it. But then I hate myself for my selfishness. I don't know if, in writing this, I'm just looking for someone to take my side and to tell me that I've been hurt, and that it's ok for me to not go out of my way to ensure she's not hurt. I know this sounds selfish, and it is, but I go insane otherwise, it just builds up inside me and I feel so cheated and helpless. I just want someone to tell me she did wrong to me.
But I don't even know if she did. She has every right to go back to her ex-boyfriend. But it doesn't stop it from killing me. I think I'd have been better if she'd stopped with me and gone back to him later, when I was a bit better, then again I know this is selfish of me.
It's probably important, though, to note that she was with her ex-boyfriend for two years, me for two months. But we spent so much of the two months together, I feel it's unfair to say "two months is nothing".
I met a girl in August and she was lovely. I spent with her the most amazing two months, and although it was short I was no doubt in love with her. She left me last month, however, to go back to her ex-boyfriend. This destroyed me. I'm still a wreck. I'm not getting over it and going crazy.
I want to hate her, but she says it's not love if I do that, and that I'm trying to hurt her on purpose. This is not true, I don't want to hurt her. But I know that it does hurt her if I hate her, but that's not what I do it. I just feel so liberated when I tell her how much she's hurt me. I can't help it. But then I hate myself for my selfishness. I don't know if, in writing this, I'm just looking for someone to take my side and to tell me that I've been hurt, and that it's ok for me to not go out of my way to ensure she's not hurt. I know this sounds selfish, and it is, but I go insane otherwise, it just builds up inside me and I feel so cheated and helpless. I just want someone to tell me she did wrong to me.
But I don't even know if she did. She has every right to go back to her ex-boyfriend. But it doesn't stop it from killing me. I think I'd have been better if she'd stopped with me and gone back to him later, when I was a bit better, then again I know this is selfish of me.
It's probably important, though, to note that she was with her ex-boyfriend for two years, me for two months. But we spent so much of the two months together, I feel it's unfair to say "two months is nothing".
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