I know this may be the wrong forum but there does not seem to be a lot of traffic in the other forum so I am hoping that someone reading this can help me. I feel like I kind of need to move on to get her back. I think I have about 3-4 months with her living with me as we have not filed yet and does not have the resources to move out.
This is my post from last Thursday when I found out this is what she wanted:
So, just got back from counseling. She said she wants D. Her and the counselor started talking about D counseling to help us w. kids or some other nonsense.
I kept saying, I am not here to talk about D I came here to talk about saving our M. Finally, I got up and left. Both her and the counselor kept asking me ot stay but I was not going to sit there and figure out ways to make her feel less guilty about not trying.
Any suggestions at this point?
I am thinking going dark as I have seen on here before.
We have kids but I feel a little vengeful and do not want to make this easy on her. She takes classes Wednesday and Thursday afternoon for 3 hours but that is it. So she doesnt work and can deal w/ the kids for a couple weeks. At this particular moment in time, I could not even face them. (Daughter 5 1/5, son 2-- the beginning of this story is in the men's club.
Here is my post from this AM:
Ok, I have been offline for several days. Here is what happened
--she said she wanted divorce, too late, nothing i can do now
-- I stayed at my mom's house from Thursday to yesterday. Did talk to her for a long time Friday (went over and switched cars with her which she did not like)
--she says she doesnt really want anything-- split custody with the kids, I keep the house (we will have to decide on a buyout)
--I have talked with lawyer, planning formal consultatoin next week sometime to find out timelines, etc-- he did say 'dont go in guns blazing if she is not being combative'
-- I went home yesterday-- told her I am staying--she said she talked to her friend and was told not to leave or it could be seen as 'abandonment' and used against her in court-- i told her I am ok with her staying, we have 2 kids and can take of them together and be cordial
-- She has no money, little family support so far-- they like me a lot and are disappointed she didnt want to try-- and is asking me about legal stuff and even to the point of 'can we use the same lawyer?' and "should i get a lawyer?'
--I did some favors for her-- stopped and got her coffee when I was coming home yesterday, faxing a financial aid form today frm work for her
We will be living together til we are divorced. She doesnt know where she is going, has no money right now. Even though she has no income did make the comment that our money is 50/50, though she knows there is little of it.
Im all very confused. If possible I would like to use these next three months to improve myself and (very very longshot, i know) maybe she sees it and changes her mind? I did tell her that if she ever has that feeling to talk to me but that at some point i will be over it too.
I need to move forward. I need strenght. I need to detach without making her think i am trying to screw her over (I actually did say to her that it might seem sometimes like I am being mean but I am not going out of my way to hurt her).
Sorry for the long message. I am a mess and this is a mess. Please keep in mind that I will be living with her for at least the next three months and at this point she has no lawyer and is agreeable to the main things-- house, kids, IRAs.
I am starting the map.
1. bench press 170 lbs by mid jan ( i weigh a little under 130).
2. Get debt free (probably wont happen till after the divorce)
3. 6 pack abs (or at least a four pack)
4. Church by myself at least 2x a month
5. Get a new pet for the kids (and me cause i love them too)
6. Find something social -- possibly writing club (degree in english lit and journalism
7. Lasik consul (cant pay for the actual procedure right now but sick of wearing glasses)
8. Improve focus and production at work
Sorry so long but I appreciate any insight/advice and especially encouragement.
This is my post from last Thursday when I found out this is what she wanted:
So, just got back from counseling. She said she wants D. Her and the counselor started talking about D counseling to help us w. kids or some other nonsense.
I kept saying, I am not here to talk about D I came here to talk about saving our M. Finally, I got up and left. Both her and the counselor kept asking me ot stay but I was not going to sit there and figure out ways to make her feel less guilty about not trying.
Any suggestions at this point?
I am thinking going dark as I have seen on here before.
We have kids but I feel a little vengeful and do not want to make this easy on her. She takes classes Wednesday and Thursday afternoon for 3 hours but that is it. So she doesnt work and can deal w/ the kids for a couple weeks. At this particular moment in time, I could not even face them. (Daughter 5 1/5, son 2-- the beginning of this story is in the men's club.
Here is my post from this AM:
Ok, I have been offline for several days. Here is what happened
--she said she wanted divorce, too late, nothing i can do now
-- I stayed at my mom's house from Thursday to yesterday. Did talk to her for a long time Friday (went over and switched cars with her which she did not like)
--she says she doesnt really want anything-- split custody with the kids, I keep the house (we will have to decide on a buyout)
--I have talked with lawyer, planning formal consultatoin next week sometime to find out timelines, etc-- he did say 'dont go in guns blazing if she is not being combative'
-- I went home yesterday-- told her I am staying--she said she talked to her friend and was told not to leave or it could be seen as 'abandonment' and used against her in court-- i told her I am ok with her staying, we have 2 kids and can take of them together and be cordial
-- She has no money, little family support so far-- they like me a lot and are disappointed she didnt want to try-- and is asking me about legal stuff and even to the point of 'can we use the same lawyer?' and "should i get a lawyer?'
--I did some favors for her-- stopped and got her coffee when I was coming home yesterday, faxing a financial aid form today frm work for her
We will be living together til we are divorced. She doesnt know where she is going, has no money right now. Even though she has no income did make the comment that our money is 50/50, though she knows there is little of it.
Im all very confused. If possible I would like to use these next three months to improve myself and (very very longshot, i know) maybe she sees it and changes her mind? I did tell her that if she ever has that feeling to talk to me but that at some point i will be over it too.
I need to move forward. I need strenght. I need to detach without making her think i am trying to screw her over (I actually did say to her that it might seem sometimes like I am being mean but I am not going out of my way to hurt her).
Sorry for the long message. I am a mess and this is a mess. Please keep in mind that I will be living with her for at least the next three months and at this point she has no lawyer and is agreeable to the main things-- house, kids, IRAs.
I am starting the map.
1. bench press 170 lbs by mid jan ( i weigh a little under 130).
2. Get debt free (probably wont happen till after the divorce)
3. 6 pack abs (or at least a four pack)
4. Church by myself at least 2x a month
5. Get a new pet for the kids (and me cause i love them too)
6. Find something social -- possibly writing club (degree in english lit and journalism
7. Lasik consul (cant pay for the actual procedure right now but sick of wearing glasses)
8. Improve focus and production at work
Sorry so long but I appreciate any insight/advice and especially encouragement.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment