I never knew what this was until I came to this site. I have been a part of many discussions here regarding others issues with this as well as my own. After 28 years I find it emotionally debilitating.
I do believe I have come along way. Much of my own progress came earlier this summer when I realized during a discussion regarding her past relationship with the OM I recognized she had rewritten history. This was stunning to me but confirmed what I had always believed. She loved him, he hurt her, he came back to her and wanted to marry her but it was payback time and she was going to make him pay. She wanted him to fight but I do not think he could figure it out. At any rate I came along, the perfect plan B and the rest is history.
This forum has really helped me to overcome so many things. I believe the advice given here has saved my marriage and shed light on the fact that I had become weak and needed to change. My gratitude is immense. I hate to think where I would be if I did not find this place.
Because of this recent discovery over the summer it has brought back a greater flood of painful memories and conjecture and I have determined the only thing I can do is leave ultimately. I do love my wife but I cannot be plan B and I do not believe there is anything that would convince me that I am anything but that. She loves me but at the end of the day I am the "safe" guy. She all but said it.
I do not hate her. I love her. She is the only woman I have ever loved. I do not relish the though of hooking up with "younger sleeker" versions. I feel badly that she and plan A could not get the stuff together and make it work. Honestly they share a great deal professionally as they are both academics. They are much more intellectually suited toward one another. I do not think I challenge her in a cerebral way.
Me I am emotionally worn out. It is the RJ. I have come to the conclusion I will never believe her regarding this situation and he will always be lurking on the periphery of our lives and I hate it. There is constant evidence that she allows to trickle in that I believe keeps that flame lit. It would be trivial to most but to me there is no other explanation.
There is much to do in relation to this. I owe it to her to leave her financially stable because I had a couple business ventures that hit us hard during the bust. Things are much better but it will take about two more years to get things in order. I feel like I need to bite the bullet and put my nose to the grindstone.
In so many ways our relationship has not been this strong in years and I am glad for that. Again I appreciate the helpful information that has helped me arrive here.
I do believe I have come along way. Much of my own progress came earlier this summer when I realized during a discussion regarding her past relationship with the OM I recognized she had rewritten history. This was stunning to me but confirmed what I had always believed. She loved him, he hurt her, he came back to her and wanted to marry her but it was payback time and she was going to make him pay. She wanted him to fight but I do not think he could figure it out. At any rate I came along, the perfect plan B and the rest is history.
This forum has really helped me to overcome so many things. I believe the advice given here has saved my marriage and shed light on the fact that I had become weak and needed to change. My gratitude is immense. I hate to think where I would be if I did not find this place.
Because of this recent discovery over the summer it has brought back a greater flood of painful memories and conjecture and I have determined the only thing I can do is leave ultimately. I do love my wife but I cannot be plan B and I do not believe there is anything that would convince me that I am anything but that. She loves me but at the end of the day I am the "safe" guy. She all but said it.
I do not hate her. I love her. She is the only woman I have ever loved. I do not relish the though of hooking up with "younger sleeker" versions. I feel badly that she and plan A could not get the stuff together and make it work. Honestly they share a great deal professionally as they are both academics. They are much more intellectually suited toward one another. I do not think I challenge her in a cerebral way.
Me I am emotionally worn out. It is the RJ. I have come to the conclusion I will never believe her regarding this situation and he will always be lurking on the periphery of our lives and I hate it. There is constant evidence that she allows to trickle in that I believe keeps that flame lit. It would be trivial to most but to me there is no other explanation.
There is much to do in relation to this. I owe it to her to leave her financially stable because I had a couple business ventures that hit us hard during the bust. Things are much better but it will take about two more years to get things in order. I feel like I need to bite the bullet and put my nose to the grindstone.
In so many ways our relationship has not been this strong in years and I am glad for that. Again I appreciate the helpful information that has helped me arrive here.
Put the internet to work for you.
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