My husband and I have had our share of ups and downs over our 18 years of marriage (we've been together for 22 years). We have four children from ages 16-6, so of course, I'm a busy mother. We've both made mistakes as most couples do; we've been through counseling, been separated, almost divorced once during his mid-life crisis; but we've always come back to the fact that we couldn't live without each other.
About a year ago, we moved as he found a new job in a different state. His new job is wonderful--he has more time off to enjoy life than he has ever had in the past, and we've been able to bond with each other through hiking and other outdoor activities. But, he's jealous of our time. If our kids have something (school activity, etc.) that might interfere with our hiking, he gets sulky. Recently, our 15 year old son with Asperger's has been bullied at school. After meetings with administrators, etc., my husband and I mutually agreed to home school him (it was actually his idea). As always, I took the problem head on. My husband, however, is now not so sure we did the right thing. After talking to him in depth about how he feels, he basically said he wants me to himself on his days off. Now, with our son at home, he'll have to "share" me. This isn't the first time in our 18 year marriage we've had issues with this. My husband is introverted and doesn't really w ant friends outside of me (he says I'm all he needs). While I'm flattered, I told him I need my friends, and I enjoy my coffee days, etc, with my girlfriends. I used to use the days he works (he works 24 hour shifts) to do the housework and visit my friends because he gets depressed if I have other things to do. I know this can't be healthy. At one point in my counseling, I was told that I can't worry about my husband's psychological well-being--he needs to do that for himself. But, he is making life miserable for all of us because he is so psychologically needy. How do I get through this? I don't know if he will go back to counseling again.
About a year ago, we moved as he found a new job in a different state. His new job is wonderful--he has more time off to enjoy life than he has ever had in the past, and we've been able to bond with each other through hiking and other outdoor activities. But, he's jealous of our time. If our kids have something (school activity, etc.) that might interfere with our hiking, he gets sulky. Recently, our 15 year old son with Asperger's has been bullied at school. After meetings with administrators, etc., my husband and I mutually agreed to home school him (it was actually his idea). As always, I took the problem head on. My husband, however, is now not so sure we did the right thing. After talking to him in depth about how he feels, he basically said he wants me to himself on his days off. Now, with our son at home, he'll have to "share" me. This isn't the first time in our 18 year marriage we've had issues with this. My husband is introverted and doesn't really w ant friends outside of me (he says I'm all he needs). While I'm flattered, I told him I need my friends, and I enjoy my coffee days, etc, with my girlfriends. I used to use the days he works (he works 24 hour shifts) to do the housework and visit my friends because he gets depressed if I have other things to do. I know this can't be healthy. At one point in my counseling, I was told that I can't worry about my husband's psychological well-being--he needs to do that for himself. But, he is making life miserable for all of us because he is so psychologically needy. How do I get through this? I don't know if he will go back to counseling again.
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