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Need advice may have cheating wife but not sure

I've been married to my wife for 16ys. We have 2 wonderful children ages 10 and 4. The past 2 yrs of our marrage has been wonderful. Our sex life is unbelievable we cannot keep our hands off each other. They have been the best years of our marraige. We just relocated to another state and absolutley love it here. Currently we both have well paying jobs that are about equal in pay. We have never had any marital problems and have an unbeilivable trust and loyalty in each other.

My wife has a very close friend that I will call her N. Those two were like sisters and moving 500 miles away has been tough on them. To make a long story short N is having marital issues and very unhappy. N is the type that will definately cheat.

Now to my wife. Lately she has been acting funny and guarding her cell phone with her life so to speak. I noticed she password protected her phone when it has not been locked at all. I figured out the password and started looking around.

N definately has eyes on another man, but my wife seems to have a crush on a coworker I'll call J. I've read several text where my wife says he's good looking and such. One day I was heart broken when N ask my wife if "J has took her down yet". My wife just blew the questioin off.I did not confront her with this.

I've noticed that my wife is deleting some of the text between her and N. Last night my wifes tex was deleted and N's reply was "just put him in the freind file and move on". Then later in the conversation N ask "are you and J bettter?" my wife replies "no, we've had to work together all day and he's lookin so hot and telling me how good I look. that bastard" Then later my wife text "no sex for me today to many phone alerts".

I've been monitoring her text and emails with J. Nothing out of the ordinary. Strictly business, no holes in text messages. Everything looks normal and exceptable. I know J and his wife and he is stand up guy and not the type of person who would have an affair with a married woman. This leads me to believe that my wife is just living some sort of wierd fantasy with N. I'm really confused and dont understand it. She has never giving me reason to believe she is having an affair. No real changes in work schedule. Worked one weekend and we (kids and I ) suprised her with lunch and everything was normal.

Am I being scared for nothing? I would love to think this just some sort of fun fantasy that she is having with N. Maybe she is just potraying a "bad girl" image to N for fun knowing N would never know if she we was really cheating being so far away. Like I said, her conversations with N are the only thing that throws up red flags. Nothing with J even remotely suggest they are having an affair.

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