I posted a few months ago about my husband never initiating and instead choosing to masturbate daily. This is something we've worked on and it tends to get better for a little while and then go back to the way it was. He still insists that he always wants me and it has nothing to do with a lack of love or attraction.
This week we had another lonnnnng talk about it. My drive is high enough where I could have sex every day, he has made it known that his drive is slightly lower but not by much. This week we had sex three nights in a row (!!!) several times a night, and yesterday took a break because I wasn't feeling good (just tired mostly---our daughter woke me up earlier than usual). I actually would have still been up for it, but he made no moves during the day and wasn't very receptive to my initiating affection. I figured he would be ready to have a day off anyway because we're both working on meeting each others needs right now and we just three days of amazing sex!
Anyway, today I brought up the break and said I hoped he's ready for tonight because I miss him and I'm definitely in the mood. (This was over chat while he's at work). I've noticed when I let him know earlier in the day he is usually all about it later on that night. Eventually it came out that last night he did masturbate. Even though this bothered/bothers me, I didn't say anything and acted okay with it (especially because I know being bothered by this is most likely irrational)... I just said something like 'I knew it! You do want it daily... glad we're on the same page about that :)'
Maybe it is because of our history but I'm feeling very rejected. I wish he had at least told me he was in the mood last night because I would have been up for it. I know I *shouldn't* take it as a rejection, I know guys do this from time to time. But I can't help it, I do! I don't want to be. I don't want to be so bothered with it that I have to bring it up with him later, that will just cause problems and we seem to be in a good phase right now.
I guess I'm not sure what I'm asking... he had just made it sound like every other day would be preferable to him, yet after three days he still had the need to masturbate? Do men who get frequent sex from their wives still prefer masturbating sometimes? Would anyone else feel rejected by this or take it personally? Any ideas on how to NOT take it so personally?
I'm not sure it would even be an issue if we weren't in this endless cycle of him putting in effort for a few days, and then going back to just taking care of things himself until it is brought up again. I've made a HUGE effort to be more open about sex, let him know often how much I want him, and make sure he knows it doesn't have to be a big production. We can have quickies if that's all he's in the mood for.
Am I doing something wrong or am I over-thinking this/making too much out of it?
This week we had another lonnnnng talk about it. My drive is high enough where I could have sex every day, he has made it known that his drive is slightly lower but not by much. This week we had sex three nights in a row (!!!) several times a night, and yesterday took a break because I wasn't feeling good (just tired mostly---our daughter woke me up earlier than usual). I actually would have still been up for it, but he made no moves during the day and wasn't very receptive to my initiating affection. I figured he would be ready to have a day off anyway because we're both working on meeting each others needs right now and we just three days of amazing sex!
Anyway, today I brought up the break and said I hoped he's ready for tonight because I miss him and I'm definitely in the mood. (This was over chat while he's at work). I've noticed when I let him know earlier in the day he is usually all about it later on that night. Eventually it came out that last night he did masturbate. Even though this bothered/bothers me, I didn't say anything and acted okay with it (especially because I know being bothered by this is most likely irrational)... I just said something like 'I knew it! You do want it daily... glad we're on the same page about that :)'
Maybe it is because of our history but I'm feeling very rejected. I wish he had at least told me he was in the mood last night because I would have been up for it. I know I *shouldn't* take it as a rejection, I know guys do this from time to time. But I can't help it, I do! I don't want to be. I don't want to be so bothered with it that I have to bring it up with him later, that will just cause problems and we seem to be in a good phase right now.
I guess I'm not sure what I'm asking... he had just made it sound like every other day would be preferable to him, yet after three days he still had the need to masturbate? Do men who get frequent sex from their wives still prefer masturbating sometimes? Would anyone else feel rejected by this or take it personally? Any ideas on how to NOT take it so personally?
I'm not sure it would even be an issue if we weren't in this endless cycle of him putting in effort for a few days, and then going back to just taking care of things himself until it is brought up again. I've made a HUGE effort to be more open about sex, let him know often how much I want him, and make sure he knows it doesn't have to be a big production. We can have quickies if that's all he's in the mood for.
Am I doing something wrong or am I over-thinking this/making too much out of it?
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