Seriously need advice

Hi, I'm new to this site but I would really like some advice (even just a sounding board would be nice). I have talked to some of my friends and their advice has not been helpful. I've done a lot of soul searching, still nothing... and my family hates my husband (who my situation is about) so that's no good either. I have been married 7 1/2 years. I have three kids, who I adore. But my marriage has been rocky...very rocky. I do not want a divorce, or didn't for most of my marriage, but to say that I am frustrated is a total understatement. My husband, when we first met, totally swept me off my feet. He cooked, he gave foot rubs, he left me love notes. He flat out told me that he was the only man who could marry me. About a month after our wedding things started going down hill. He tried to distance us from my family, they always fight ( my family is weird, I'll give him that). He quit every job he had and we moved a lot. He picks fights a lot and always makes it my fault...ie: "you are a bullying wife--I want a divorce" and he is incredibly quick to get angry and scream. He has the lowest libido of any man I have ever known... I have done everything I can think of to keep the spark. I've tried every fantasy or role playing scenario he mentioned. I try to cuddle and he accuses me of being a sex monger (he came from a family that was not touchy feeling...I try to respect that, but it feels more like we are roommates than a couple) In the past couple of years we have tried to have a better marriage and there has been improvement and there have been good moments. But it always ends up bad again. We'll end up in a fight and he'll threaten divorce and tells me he will win custody because I'm "always gone" (I work full time). I really want things to be good, and work out and to raise a happy family. But Most of the time I think I made the wrong choice in men...but then, he'll say something nice and I think "oh, it will work out!". Then, last week, out of the blue an ex boyfriend (the one that got away kind of guy) wrote me, just to make amends...to let me know that he was so sorry he had broken up with me etc...but he ended the email nicely by saying " I'm really glad you are happy" and all I wanted to say is "but I'm not!" This is someone who I almost did marry, who was the love of my life. He was romantic and caring and sweet. We had a bad break up after transitioning to a long distance relationship. I knew when he wrote me, I could not entertain ANY thoughts about him... or I would do something stupid. So I did the smart thing and deleted the email and didn't respond. But it made me really think about the relationship I am in and if it is good for me, for my kids... I don't want to head down the path of divorce...but I am so depserate. Any tips on restoring the romance... or relationship help would be really great. I've read blogs and books and their advice doesn't work... They say things like "Walk around in a towel after your shower and it will get your partner raring to go"... well I tried that and got " God, stop letting your balls hang out"... Thanks for reading...

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