Was I right to tell my partner about my insecurities?

We've been going out 4-5 months now and know each other very well. In this case I said I wasn't particularly looking forward to going back to uni in some ways. (She's entering second year and I'm in Year 3, we both commute from home). Basically I feel that she adjusted to University life a lot better than me, particularly adjusting socially. Long post so spoilered Spoiler: Show From what I understand she went through a brief period of depression and anorexia during her A Levels but was never diagnosed and chose to solve it on her own; I have Generalised Anxiety (which has elements of health anxiety, disordered eating, social anxiety, OCD and depressive episodes when this gets too much), I was diagnosed when my stress hit the paranoia phase during A Levels and have since been receiving ongoing counselling/therapy/professional support. She knows about this and has for quite some time. However, even though we both have histories of emotional disturbance she seems to have figured out how to just 'get on with it', so to speak. She comes from a conservative Indian family so I think that discipline was unwillingly thrust upon her at a young age anyway. As a result she seems to have made quite a few friends, really bubbly and fun to be around. You can tell she's more popular than she's aware of. She's doing sciences so she's smart and career-driven already, very focused and determined despite feeling disheartened by her marks last year. She's beautiful even though she doesn't think so, there are plenty of good guys who would love to be with her. By contrast I don't have many mates on campus. I have a few good close friends outside who know about my diagnosis and lots of casual ones who don't really know about my problems, but not many in uni at all. The two closest I had just graduated, the others are again casual and I only see them when we bump into each other/sit next to each other in lectures. I'm In fact at the worst of my illness, I think my actions made one class stay away from me since I was the 'weird kid'. I guess it's a bit harder for me to build friendships with classmates since I'm doing a Joint Honours degree but still over the course of two years, I feel it's a bit of a pathetic record. My life-long social anxiety has got better and worse at the same time. Specifically I feel more comfortable approaching strangers, being sociable and making friends on a good day, but on a bad day when I'm in the middle of an OCD/feeling depressed and things my confidence is sapped and I tend to stay away from everyone except my closest friends. So I know I can make friends in societies and stuff but because of my difficulties I didn't keep going and lost touch. I already feel a bit undermined by the fact I had to ask for all this help anyway (without which I probably would have had to leave uni a long time ago). Now I don't blame her but it often makes me feel inadequate. The fact she's just so get-up-and-go, manages to fake a smile or pull off a real one and plough through her day is inspiring and admirable. Sometimes I think she's just more positive than me. Stronger. Less selfish; she's done voluntary work, on a committee and looking for a mentoring job so I feel she's generally contributed more back to the University and society than me, and in less time too. I don't know how she does it! (I actually think I'm more whiny even though she does need to vent to me about her day often, it's hard to explain.) When this happens I can eventually start feeling insecure especially when comparing myself to other guys, even her other guy friends :/ I might think they're so much better-looking/sociable/optimistic/funny.most importantly probably don't have all this ****ing emotional baggage. I resent myself quite a lot for having to make such a big deal about what 'should' be a non-issue. Sometimes I feel immature because of it, like it's a sign I need to grow up and deal with it, be a man. Basically I often think she can do better than me because of my problems, even though I feel I'm a genuinely good person (and she never falters in thinking so either) and I've got some attractive skills (I'm told by several people I'm quite smart and musical, for example.) To me the diagnosis partially stripped away my manhood as I was left shown to be vulnerable. It made me have to reconsider part of my identity and a little alienated from the conventional 'real man' (who isn't supposed to get depressed or be that needy with emotion/is sporty/can work and work without ever getting tired or even needing much sleep/can handle hangovers with ease and drink barrels while keepingn in good shape/doesn't think twice when talking to people it just comes naturally/always positive and funny etc.) It made me question how can I be her rock when I'm a little bit on the crumbly cookie side? I said all this to her in fewer words the other day and it just seemed awkward. She says she'll support me through this and I've told her about but all the same I'm scared she is eventually going to get fed up and leave me for someone less...needy? I feel like I'm being needy even reaching out for counselling. The other thing is I'm still slightly withdrawn/depressed due to my fears of being caught out with all my problems s I often 'hide' from the world on the computer like right now. I'm somewhat ashamed of my mental illness because even though I'm told it's not my fault, I still think it kind of is, had I been less weak/negative/needy/'beta' then I wouldn't have ended up like this etc. Thanks anyone who could be bothered to read all that! Tl;dr told my long-ish term partner (c. 6 months) I often feel insecure since my self-esteem took a blow since my diagnosis, was this a bad move? I tried not to say it outright to har but, even though I want to be with her, I felt she could get with a better guy around campus. Would it be regarded as unattractive? I always tell her she can confide in me so why do I think it makes me less of a man to do so in turn?

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