many decisions in my separation which one?

I have been married 18yrs, one child 9. To know the back ground story to this separation see my other post. This post is to figure out which path is the best to take. Over the past 8 months H and I have had screaming arguments, cool down months of walking on egg shells and then a few months of no arguing but long harsh discussions. At the same time during all of this we have had soft moments of time spent together to loving deep emotionally connected sex. We don't hate each other. We just don't seem to want the same things in our life. but at the same time its hard to see life without each other. Alot of those discussions end with me wanting out. Then a day or so later I feel guilty or feel like he is really the one for me and I need to learn to except our differences. Then something would trigger that feeling I should have left comes back. He and I have equal faults in this. After alot of our harsh talks he would say see I am not the guy for u. U want a normal square type of guy. I am not it. Don't waste ur time on me. and we would end the night with a partial agreement we shouldn't be together. A few weeks ago we were in one of our partial splits. I decided we are having it out. I called into work told them I would be 2hrs late. I finally was going to end the relationship. I kept in my head what I wanted in my partner and how the things he wants aren't close to what I want. When it finally came down to it. As I was telling him I feel we are better off apart. He throws in a big change. One I been wanting forever. He says lets move back to your home state. We been in MO with my family for 13yrs. We have never been happy here. So lets do it. We were happy in Ohio. I jumped up ran across the room gave him a big hug and we so super excited. We were move this spring. Fast forward a week or so later. Another harsh talk and another ending of how he doesn't stack up or more of how he doesn't try for us in our life. I named everything he hasn't done and how I feel I do everything in our marriage. And then the whole issue with our original problem from the first post the semi open marriage thing was also discussed. Finally we decided our daughter and I would go to Ohio this October. We would be separated. He would stay behind and finish up closing our property down and trying to figure out how he could change his laziness to our life. And i could go out and figure out if there is someone better for me. He feels during our 18yrs i thrown my ring at him many times and is/was ready to leave. And he has never done that to me. He fills he is deposal. That my love isn't as deep as his is for me. He wants me to go out and find the life i desire so badly. Here is the crossroads: The move can not be change he is very persistent that this move will be the best for all of us. We all eventually be back in Ohio. 1. Go there as a separated wife. Date, find out if there is a guy better suited for the life I want. Hubby is so uniquely odd that I know I could find a clean cut guy that would be a better suit for me. This is want he wants me to do. To find my mr right. Since he feels he is a loser and isn't my mr right. 2. Go there without dating try to work through the issues with hubby before he comes. This is a hard one also between missing him and not being able to see him. I may agree to anything. I feel how can we work out our differences 500miles away. I think we are going to eventually think we fixed it when we havent because we havent been there to live it. 3. Learn to except each other. Be more tolerant of each other. No matter how far out our ideas are. We don't have to agree but let the other be themselves no matter what. And know how far u can actually expect the other to go. just except this is the way life is. 4. When he gets there live separate and see how it works. Just date each other. this one takes the burden of reasonability off each other. he doesn't like this one I have suggested it a few times. It just seems to me this move isn't going to end well. He seems to see it too. I feel selfish if i do what he asked. For me to go see if there is a guy better suited for me. Because i know deep down if i do it, it will probably be the end of our marriage. I am not sure how to do this separation. P.s. Our daughter is both our worlds and we keep our adult issues mostly to ourselves. We parent great together. She is a straight A student, she loves life and is looking forward to this move. So please dont start with think of your daughter.

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