Break up after 12 years, he still wants to live together - struggling to process

I've been with my husband for near 13 years, married for 3 1/2 years. We've never had a perfect relationship because neither of us are. He has a temper and we row a lot, like every 4 months or so we have a huge row, but the air would clear and we'd make adjustments if necessary and we'd move on. ( I'm not saying the rows are his fault, I recognise I have a part) Two weeks ago we had a huge row and he chucked his wedding ring at me and told me he was done, not the first time he'd done this, but this time he packed a bag and left. He came back the next day and we talked, he still said he was leaving and I asked if it was because he didn't love me any more. He told me that he could never explain how much he did love me, but couldn't do the circle of rows any longer. He said he felt that I no longer loved him and that he felt pushed out by me. I told him its not true, but now I knew he felt that way I could make sure that my behaviour reflected how I feel. He said it was too late and that he had been telling me in our big blow up rows but I'd not been listening. After some discussion he agreed to give it 3 months to see if there was an improvement. But the next few days I stopped my social actives, arranging them at different times when he wasnt around so I could spend time with him, but he was distant and wouldn't let me near him. Then I came home one day to find him gone again. He said he feels its best for both of us and that he feels we've lost the spark and nothing could get it back. I saw him two days later, he says that he's feelings haven't changed and no matter what I say I cannot change his mind. He says he loves me a great deal that I'm his best friend, but that's all he sees me as, there is no spark of attraction any longer. This is obviously different from the week before. I asked why he didn't try after agreeing we would and be said I'd gone from one extreme to the other and he didn't want that and I'd resent him. We discussed having to move out of our house and where we would go, both of us will struggle financially and so he said that he still sees me as his best friend and wants me in his life, but not as a husband, that I can find better than him, he suggested that he moves into the spare room and we continue to live together as friends. He said if it gets to the point where you want to bring a bloke back, I'll be hurt but I'll understand? WTH? He says living together as friends is not an invitation to get back together, he's adamant that its over and will not change. He's left again for a few nights to give me space to decide what I want to do about living together, but has said when he comes back he is moving into the spare room either way, whether just for a few months whilst we sort of our financials and belongings during the notice period or whether I agree to long term. He said its up to me if I stayed. I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks if he doesn't love me anymore I should accept that and move on, part of me thinks that if I live with him as friends, with the pressure off we can see why we fell in love and we'll get back the spark, even though he is adamant that won't happen, then I think I'm deluding myself. I then think why would he want to live with me if he don't love me, surely he'd want to cut all ties? Then I think he is saying he still considers me his best friend and surely that's what great marriages are built on? Even though he is clear in saying there is no hope and we are done, other things he is saying is confusing me and I'm wondering if he is really sure of his feelings, if he's not there is hope, if he is there is no hope and no point. I don't know what's best, any comments gratefully received.

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