WW in need of advice

I found this site through another site that I posted on. I've been reading some of the posts, and there is a lot of great people here. I know that as a wayward wife, I'm not seen here with a lot of patience, but I really need some help. It's hard for me to connect often, but I'll update and answer questions when I'm able. A quick intro, I'm 34, my H (d) is 37. We've been together for 8 years, married for 6. We have a son who is 7. Things have been good for a long time, stable. He works a lot, as do I, but we've always tried to make time for each other. Early last year, I was in a bad car accident. To help heal afterwards, I took up yoga. I got really into it, but wanted something more intense. I've been doing crossfit and other programs since then, and have gone through a lot of changes. I'm very very happy with where I am physically, and feel more attractive than I have in a long time. D was supportive, but didn't want to participate. He's not a fit person, but I still feel attracted to him. I can't lie, I did enjoy the new attention I've received from men, but didn't pursue anyone. Fast forward to 6 months ago. My son is in peewee football, and one of the coaches is a man named AJ. AJ is a bit younger than I am, and still has a sort of boyish charm. He's a flirt, as most of the other mothers on the team know. D used to take our son to practice, but after a dust up with AJ (D thought he was pushing the kids too hard), stopped. Our son loves playing, and most of his friends play too, so I took over. AJ and I would sometimes talk during practice, sometimes after. I think i fell into the 'fog' that is mentioned on the board a lot. We did eventually trade numbers, and texted/chatted back and forth. There was chemistry there, and I felt distanced (which I think was my doing) from D. After two months, AJ and I met up at his home while D was out of town visiting family with our son. It turned from an EA to a PA that night (YES, it was protected). I felt remorse, but was still 'high' from the rush of it all. Looking back, I can't believe my actions. We were together three more times until I just couldn't do it anymore. The last time was in April. I've felt just soul crushing remorse since then. I KNOW that D has got to be told, but how can I do this that would be best for him? This is so hard for me, but I want to protect him as much as I can. What makes this more difficult is that when he inevitably asks who it was, its going to be someone he has already said he 'can't stand'. I am so, so sorry for all of this. I can't believe what I've done to us. I can't keep this in any longer. Please, help me to do what is right in the least painful way that I can.

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