2 months with distant in-laws too much?!

Hello, I want to be fair to my husband but he has proposed yearly trips to see his family overseas. I have been friendly to his family and I am supportive of him spending time with them but....the truth is I would prefer it to be without me. We have been married 4 yrs now and I have only met them twice but on 2 extended visits. Both visits were really trying. We have to stay with family and visit everyone or we risk insulting family members, the list of family rules is pretty extensive. Unfortunately each visit has turned into an ordeal and my husband gets stressed out and really cranky so in the few moments of privacy we get he is in a bad mood. Most speak english but will not with me so I can only talk to my husband. I have tried talking to them but the language issue is the least of it, they are not interested in me/us nor will they acknowledge our marriage. Basically they tolerate us coldly and I have been told only because his mother is still alive. I don't take it personally as it is part of a long family drama and their culture...but at the same time I feel I have done my best to date, I keep my mouth shut, I smile, help around their homes if I can and stay out of the drama. His mother said after our last visit she is happy her son isn't alone anymore which is the best acknowledgement I've gotten to date...hey, I figure I did well considering the circumstances! :) The idea of 2 months with them gives me chills. I want to be supportive so I agreed to go next year for a special event but only for a shorter period of time like a couple of weeks. Any suggestions? I do not want him to not see his family and suggested he consider going alone some years and I would go occasionally. fyi we have invited everyone to see us but they won't of course. I'm out of ideas/compromises to suggest...and he's pretty upset over this.... Thanks for reading! Brenda

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