Ready to give Ultimatum

Either his friend or me ... Hubs and "D" have been friends since high school, "D" has never been a good influence (drugs, drinking, women) ... and about 5 years ago "D" just stopped talking to hubs ... I was very happy. Because in that time my husband became sober and we have a good marriage. Well "D" Contacted me on mySpace a few years ago and wanted to meet up and have us meet his new girlfriend (soon to be wife #3) ... they lived in Arizona and I thought great, Hubs can get closure and we'd be done. Well "D" and his girlfriend "J" moved to our state, about 3 hours away. We've been there a few times. I still don't trust and never will trust "D" The first time at their house my husband seemed to follow J around like a dog in heat ... and D always makes comments on J's "ass" and stuff like that. Then suddenly when they are in our town they want to stay at our house i.e. use us as a hotel when they race. J seems to think it's cute to call my husband flirty names, run around in short shorts and offer to walk on his back, and call my husband "her *****" ... I don't find any of it funny, I find it pure disrespect and inappropriate. I've told hubs MANY times I do not like her and I do not trust HER, he then says well he'll just go see them alone and I got mad, NO EFFIN WAY, he says I don't trust him, it's not true I do trust him, I do not trust women ... and I certainly do not trust her when she's saying flirty things to my husband in my own home and barley acknowledges me. It's summertime and again they'll want to stay here and I've already told my husband NO they can get a hotel, I spent the warm months with my stomach in KNOTS waiting for this. I'm almost to the point to tell my husband "D" or me. Am I out of line to feel this way. If I had a male friend that was disrespectful to my marriage I would have put my foot down. We hardly know J but she tries to be myhusband's buddy buddy because her boyfriend is, and I don't like it.

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