i cant take anymore of this and im so sad

I met my first love at school and after two years i had to move away for uni. The relationship broke down and i was devasted. We then tried again and it broke down. In my 2nd year we got back together but it turned out she was seeing another guy. I was so hurt i cried for months.... she got with the guy and i spent the next 3 months with a girl i didnt really like... i missed my first love so much. After 6 months of being myself i got a shock call and she was desparate to try again. I was reluctant due to previous hurt. I gave in and we just had an amazing 4 months.... until now... she totally mucked me around and i had no choice but to end it ( she kept lying and hurting me). Im so sad i cant describe it... i really thought it was going to work this time. I love her so much id literally do anything for her but i know shes not gd for me... if i didnt end it i wd have got cheated on again going by previous experience.... i really dont know what to do... i feel like i have nobody to speak to and recently thoughts of jumping infront of a car to try and have something proper to worry about. My mates are all sick of me getting upset now im so alone. I love her.... im in 3rd year and a straight a student but i really think my exam tmz will be a disaster. I want help but im afraid people will just put it down to a break up.

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