Shattered by lies and cheating

Where to begin? My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and just recently had our first baby. We got married young (both 21) and had decided on waiting on kids because of that. Fast-forward about 6 years and this is when our problems began. We were both under a lot of stress bc of our jobs and new home. Eventually, he became distant and started working "longer hours", going out with friends, and eventually are sex life was almost non-existant. I have to add, we had started talking to a marriage/family counselor and the counselor told me that I was too needy and (in his words) needed to play "hard-to-get" because (according to the counselor) my husband needed the thrill of the chase. Let me tell you, my husband never came to chase, so I couldn't play the game the counselor had suggested. Needless to say, I stopped seeing the counselor and my husband took it as a sign of giving up when in reality I didn't agree with ANYTHING the counselor suggested. Anywho, turns out my husband was cheating on me with his secretary--yes, I know, so cliche! He said it was nothing, that they had lunch a couple of times bc he needed to talk to someone. I was hurt and didn't know what to believe, so I took some time apart and went to my mom's house to think about staying or going. I should have seen the red flags, but I gave him the benefit of a doubt and we stayed together. Here's where it gets ugly: since our seperation, it took a bit for us to be intimate and the first time we had sex after the separation, I got pregnant. This hijacked me into a blissful state and probably hwy I didn't see the trainwreck coming. Turns out, the WHOLE time I was pregnant and all the way up until recently, my husband has been cheating on me. I found out that during our seperation he had opened a 2nd bank account, so (naturally) I broke into his account one night while he slept and saw that not only was he taking someone out, he was going to strip clubs too! Many different strip clubs and many times. He even went to a strip club when our baby was 2 weeks old. As far as his secretary, well they don't work in the same office anymore bc he got promoted (and subsequently she did too and got his old position- greeaaaaat!) so they still work together but not so directly. I have seen texts from her (the number wasnt saved but thanks to whitepages and paying $1.99 I found out it was her cell #) and later those texts being deleted. He says nothing ever happened but why hide texts and not answer her calls (bc she called once, he screened it, later I checked who called and wrote down the number bc it wasnt sa ved but it was her). Sigh! So, I am still at home because of our baby and the fact that i took this year off from work bc we had decided it would be best for the baby. I'm shattered, I'm devasted, and I know that I cannot be with a man that does that to the mother of his child. My question is, out of all of this, how do I cope with this? I know I want a divorce, but feel lost. I am starting work next week so i hope that helps me focus on the future, but my heart hurts so much that I can't think straight sometimes. Any advice, anyone?

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