Obese Husband Would Rather Masturbate...

Hi all, I had posted last night, but didnt get any replies, and probably due to the crazy length of my post. So Im going to cut thru the chase and try to get my concerns across with alot less words. My husband is morbidly obese. 5'11", 380lbs. We have sex maybe, every 3-4 months. When we do, he oftentimes cannot orgasm. He says its because he tires out before he gets there. My thoughts are its because he masturbates because it is easier. He used to watch porn, but says that is less frequent now. Im not sure. But I know that when he doesnt M, he orgasms alot more quickly. If I get on top to help keep him from tiring out, I cant do it long because its painful to spread myself across him due to his size. Another problem is that I dont initiate. Im not all that physically attracted to him, but I do try to ignore that fact because I just love him. But somehow I want more sex. Id like it once a week, or even every 2 weeks. So, should I start initiating even when I know he probably wont orgasm? Sometimes Im scared he might have a darn heart attack with how much he exerts himself during it! How do I make myself feel more attracted to him so that I WILL initiate? How do you get past the size to explore different positions if almost everything is uncomfortable? I know his weight could be a factor with why he rarely wants sex, and I know masturbation is just easier for him, but it ticks me off because I feel like the M has taken over and he'd rather just do that instead of try with me. Because its what he has always done. He used to watch porn ALOT. Daily. And I would be so hurt because he did that instead of coming to me. And he could still be doing that some. I asked him about it, and he said it is much less frequent now. Advice? ANything at all. Im feeling sad about our situation. I know he loves me, and I love him, but the love I feel is starting to feel more like how I would love a friend. I need more intimacy.

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