I think I win the crazy :)

Evening all, Wanted to let you all know I've found some interesting advice here while going thru a divorce from , what I think is a really crazy wife.... I'd like all of your opinions on how to label my situation US AS A COUPLE : I'm 40 shes 34 - We match physically and im more "established" financially... ie if you saw us you'd think we're a "match".. she was married once... ended because he didn't want kids... me never married, but had bought a ring before :) LIFE DURING OUR MARRIAGE - Basically perfect.... no real fights, decent sex life, lots of hand holding, kissing, cuddly dovey stuff... I did the man stuff around the house ie trash, fixing stuff and did plenty of it, she did some light housekeeping and we pretty much shared meal prep... we talked about our relationship, went on little trips, date nights, all of that MY WORK : I keep my office out of my home with the occasional trip, she was similar however she travels 2-3 days a week. FIANCNES : We aren't "rich" but I make over 100k regular and don't have a ton of debt... ie money was never an real issue or sticking point... plus we where both frugal in general Ok first year and a half.... pretty much nice... no big fights, heck rarely even a disagreement of any great size ... then around June / July of this year shes gone a little more often than usual... I give her a ring when shes gone.... Now keep in mind I wasn't the type to call all the time.... pretty much if she was out of town it was a hey give me a ring before you go to bed to let me know your ok thing.... anyway.... She basically gives me a none of your business attitude..... now this was a 1st... now the story gets interesting At this point I'm , well suspicious to say the least.... complete attitude change...and shes gone for 4 days not the usual 2-3 .... anyway... I go turn on the laptop, and take a look... and sure enough photos , emails and texts between her and to my surprise 30-40 guys..... I discover she had a full on BF since the day we where married, and shes planning a trip with another one the following week...... needless to saw a bit of shock there :) Up until this point I thought things where "ok" granted I knew my wife was flirty.... but this was ridiculous.. I mena she had to be on every sugar darting, cougar hookup site there ever was.... and she was reaching out to them... and doing it since day one of the marriage.... Oh did I mention... SHE PUSHED FOR MARRIAGE - I thought we'd date / be engaged for a year more..... ( we meet and got married almost exactly 1 year from the day we meet ) So we have the "talk" no yelling and screaming... just firm... she cries, says shell be a good girls, etc.etc... I say, OK but I want all the email passwords and such, she agrees.... I follow up on her for a few weeks... things seem to be ok... and we're back to "normal" I stop my follow up and we just live... I figure **** if I cant trust her... whats the point... plus I told her she was going to fail again int the future... she of course said no.. I said hon... this level of cheating doesn't fix itself overnight.... but when you feel tempted let me know... and lets see what we can do... I actually surprised my self with my level of calm during this ****storm... I mean she had a full on affair for the 1st year of our marriage, dated dozens of others and was setting up full time BF #2....any way Come October... she gets a bit fishy again... I say ok.... time to check up on her.. I go to login with the info she gave me... sure enough everything changed.... I go to one of the many dating sites and sure enough find her... and look SHES ONLINE NOW - I create a profile, call it Catch my cheating wife.... and IM her...... lol ..... I then text her and say, hey whats up... I like your profile... of course she says what profile.. I say the one your on now.... she texts me some misc stuff on other things... and while we're talking I see the photos gone and the description change.... WOW what a coincidence :) Well this time I'm pissed... she comes home... but brings her mom with to , well cover her ass..... IE she knew I wouldnt have some big talk with her while her mom was here.... Her mom who is no dummy figures some **** out... and the next morning she tells my wife and her daughter that shes a horrible wife and why are you treating this good man like this, etc.etc... Ok.... after the mom leaves the next day... I sit the wife down and say, ok.... do you want to be my wife or not ? NO answer.... WOW .... ok I say ok you have 15 minutes to come up with an answer...... I walk away and go to my home office... well 2 minutes later her mom calls and asks if I'm throwing her out... I said heck no.... just asked my wife if she was my wife or not.... if she wasn't, well we'd go from there. LOL Ok, next day.... we talk in the morning I say, listen I knew you where going to mess up again..... why didn't you tell me... she said oh she wasn't ****ing nay of these guys... just doing a study of how men work..... WOW what a good answer :) .... I then say ok well you need to give me the passwords again and lets see where it goes.... well she gives me the ***** eye and says NO that's my private business.... I'm like WTF ... are you kidding its YOUR BUSINESS.... dating other men while we're married is OUR BUSINESS :) .... well this time I get pissed.. I yell, I break a chair...... basically just slammed it on the floor... I calm down pretty quick, feel like an ass for breaking a chair.... then proceed to apologize... but said hun.... I got so mad, because, well look at what your doing... since the day we where married you've had multiple boyfreinds... and now your saying no to me checking up on you ? etc.etc... she says ok and promises to be a good girl again.... I say... OK ... but this time I'm not soo trusting.... takes us a few weeks to get on the mend again.... Now, thanksgiving rolls around... we seem to be OK ... fragile but ok... the next day I go to help a relative with some Xmas decorations..... gone for maybe 5-6 hours... come home and the wife is gone and so is all her stuff.... well I'm well SHOCKED - I'm like wtf.. .your leaving me ? Plus, I kind of got hooked on our nice day to day married life.... it really was very pleasant.... Anyway.... I get a hold of her... and she says shes done... shes sorry , I was a good man, blah blah blah..... anyway.. I go into a depression for a while..... trying to figure out what just happened... even though it was obvious.... my wife loved our pleasant little white picket fence life... but she loved the attention of other men... and this time she knew I was going to not be so lazy about checking up on her... so she picked her other life.....and after about 3 calls... no more talking... and keep in mind on turkey day ( the day before she vanishes )shes the same "perfect" wife... holding my hand , stroking my hair, sucking my nuts off when we get home :) A few other background notes : FACEBOOK - I've never been a FB person.... but come to find out she had nothing but photos of her and other guys on it.... and was always listed as single FRIENDS : Other than a few, ie the ones I meet.... no one else knew she was married RINGS : Come to find out as soon as she left the house they came off Now a month goes buy...no real contact except some legal stuff... and the 1st week or two some random conversations.... but pretty much the door was closed I go to her and say hey... listen before we make this "official" lets sit down or even just talk on the phone one more time and see what if anything is there.... maybe were friends maybe where not, maybe we work something out, maybe not..... well for 2 weeks she puts me off... saying how hard life is , how hard she has to work, etc.etc... Now keep in mind her Mother is calling me on a regular basis telling me to somehow try to get her daughter back because shes driving her crazy :) ... her life isn't hard, shes got free rent, food and her moms paying for everything... anywho... she keeps giving me these sob stories as to why she cant talk.... After her last sob story... which for some reason she thinks I believe... I write back in a polite way.... Listen hun.... please don't insult my intelligence with these sob stories.. I know its not that hard, you have a good place to live, plenty of food , your still going out for fun , etc.etc.... I then proceed to say.. listen if you w ant to talk lets talk... lets have a real NO BS open talk before the divorce is "official" .... Now keep in mind this is the first time I ever called her on her BS since she left.. ie I'm looking for that last little bit of closure.. I mean this sutff seems bat**** crazy to mean Well I get back a one line email **** YOU ! I'll never talk to you again ... to me that meant, DAMM hes not going by the oh feel sorry for me thing so **** it I'm done :) As I examine what just happened to me I have been trying to figure out what to call this woman WALK AWAY WIFE - Obviously.... but those tend to come a little later in a marriage and usually the marriage is dying... ie the women change a bit... she was the same the day before she left as the day we got engaged... after a little longer I could see where she got distant... but damm she had a full on BF the day of our marriage :) SERIAL CHEATER : Well duh.... After all of this I find out since the day we where engaged till the day she left she had multiple FULL ON BF's .and she wanst even 100% faithful to them :).. however she only seemed to be ****ing one other person besides me at a time..... the rest where just dates NARCISSIST : She seems to fit the mold..... however she doesn't seem outright vengeful... I mean on the money side, she never asked for much of anything and the divorce is not being contested by her at all... granted we had a prenup Other items of interest... .she never complained... and I would fairly regular.. not every week mind you.. say .. hey am I doing anything that annoys you.... she would usually say no... the only thing she ever really wanted me to do was to wear slippers in the house and not my regular shoes... easy enough.. and if I smoked I do it outside or in the basement... again easy enough to fix... Basically all in all she hated conflict of any kind.. Oh one other note... during all of the the past 6 months we had been trying to have a baby.... LOL Now, I know I may be portraying myself as some "great" guy... Nah, I'm not perfect i know it..but I was a decnet husband... offered and took her on trips, we went out regular, was handy around the house, we hugged and cuddled regular, had a decent sex life, never really argued.. if she had a complaint or something I resolved it and probed a little more blah blah blah :).. I knew she had some man issues I knew she was generally flirty... I also gave her her space.... I had a time in my life when I was a player... and I dated plenty of players as well ..... So I gave her "space" never really checked up on her hard... maybe i should have earlier.... but most women hate it when your too fing clingy or possessive.... And you know its bad when her mother, my mother in law says.... You ( the husband ) are the luckiest man in the world to be rid of her... she was just awful.... I've become more of a shrink to her mom who is now trying to figure out who her daughter is... oh one othe r note I was faithful this entire time.... I had offers... wish I took them... but I said nah, your married now... Be a good husband and look forward to the golden years And in all reality, if you had come to our house any day of the week, you would have seen a pretty nice thing going on... my family was shocked by all of this... some even didn't believe me till I showed them the emails and pictures :) .... that's how real it seemed.... especially to me.... and again I noticed no real change her her from the day we where married So, good community... Let me know what kind of label you would put on this thing... and for those of you going thru a **** storm... IT GETS BETTER ... sure I'll have a knot in my stomach for a good long while and during Xmas , damm it sucked..... In many ways I was glad it was "over" I mean come on the level of cheating was stupid crazy... but I was blinded by how nice everything was at home.. I mean she went out of her way to be nice.... But it still sucked, hard..... Thoughts questions let me know... a lot of what I read on this board helped me to put some labels on things that helped

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979