How am I supposed to know?? VENT

I understand what constitutes R. what if not everything is included, could it still work? I am so angry with my WH right now; I go back and forth almost daily. He didn't even have a PA, it was basically flirting and cybersex that was short lived with two women at the same time. I read the entire convo with one of them on Skype; it started with flattery and attention, and then progressed to one cybersex convo. The other one is what is eating at me, he says nothing, basically flirting, I didn't find much of anything on Skype either. He cut off contact immediately, deleted Skype, stopped playing the online game, said he was sorry, didn't know why he did it, felt stupid. 6 months later he is still not OL gaming, trying to spend more time with family, hasn't Skyped or done anything to raise any suspicion. He has replaced OL gaming with other games (PC and PS3) but he's always been a gamer. :confused: He doesn't like to talk about it, I've stopped asking. It seems like he doesn't think it was a big deal (no physical, just a little harmless flirting) and he wants everything to just go back to normal. But apparently that's what caused this in the first place. How can we go back to "normal" and not have the same thing happen again? Coming to TAM has helped and hurt my situation. It has spurned two extremely important relationship/divorce conversations between us. I still don't think he understands the turmoil in my mind or the fact that I keep thinking about divorce even though we've talked about it twice. It has also made me a little more jaded ie. "Cheaters Script" and Kipani's thread: Do you ever just want to give up men because we'll never be all he wants? I don't feel special anymore, my heart is broken, and the trust is gone… So reading some of these things are disheartening to say the least. If this was a PA I would be gone already, I feel like this is almost worse because I can't get it out of my head. Why can't I stop thinking about it? What the hell is this R supposed to look like? What is this newly rebuilt relationship supposed to be like? Am I really going to feel the need to keep spying forever? What's going to prevent it from happening again? What if he goes full blown PA next time? What if this wasn't the first time?

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979