Friend said something hurtful to me and I can't stop dwelling on it

(Hello! First post! :) ) My friend and I were doing work together to other day and I started to look through my facebook feed in boredom. I was telling her about how I want to start attending this club at uni again because I've only been twice. I showed her some pictures they'd posted up on their fb group and was mentioning absentmindedly how fun it all looked when BAM out of nowhere she came out with this comment that pretty much knocked me sideways. She said (more or less) 'See I think that's what you're like. You want people to think you're having fun, you don't actually like having fun.' I was confused and surprised and asked her what she meant. She pretty much said, 'Like you'd rather have photos and everyone see the photos. You don't actually want to do the things.' I don't know why but this made me so close to tears, it just came from nowhere and seemed so bizarre. I said, 'So, what, are you calling me a fake? That's really hurtful.' And she was suddenly backtracking, saying no not that, of co urse not, and trying to remind me that I'd said pretty much the same thing myself before. Then she said, 'It's like this year [at uni] you said you said you were going to make a point of taking more photos/ It's just for facebook.' me: 'Yeah, for myself, to document... I like looking through photos, at memories/ It's not for facebook!' her: 'Come on, it is a little bit.' Anyway I got a bit upset and it's been on my mind since, although I haven't let her know it. The reality is, of course I try to paint a better picture of myself on facebook, but then doesn't everyone? It's one image of yourself that you actually can control. But it's not like I'm one of those girls who posts endless statuses and photos... it's more that she's calling me a pretender, implying there's nothing of substance to me.. But really the reason I don't do half the things I say I will, isn't because I'm bullsh1tting, but rather that I have pretty low self-confidence, and it's something I've forever trying to overcome. Do you not find this a strange and hurtful thing to say? Friends who continually put you down but in the guise of honesty and cruel-to-be-kindness, are they worth it? Sorry if TLTR. x

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