Hello all,
This is the sequel to my previous post regarding my out of control crush on another woman from a coffee shop. For those of you who did not read my previous post this basic jist was as follows:
1. Married for 10 years with three children.
2. Found a great cheap coffee shop.
3. Hot French barista chick started paying me attention.
4. Three weeks of friendly chit chat/mild flirting.
5. Build a chemical bond with her/felt like I fell in love with her.
6. Removed myself from the coffee shop and came to TAM to see what else I could do to forget about her.
The purpose of this post is to share what I learn and not to get advice. I was really fcuked up. I felt so emotional like I have gone through a huge break up. I wanted to see her every day. It took 4 weeks of not going there, for this addiction to be broken. Now that I'm back to normal, I can't believe what had happened to me, like some spell was placed over me. Someone had power over me and I don't like that too much.
So, I went back there. Yes, you read that right, I went back to the coffee shop. Why, not the reason that you're probably thinking. I went back there to see if she still affects me the way that she did, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing! I went back there, and pretty mush snubbed her, looked at my phone the whole time I was waiting for my coffee, so I don't know if she was looking at me or not but I gave her no eye contact what so ever.
I have realized something important that I never thought before. This problem that I had to face had absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. I have sacrificed my life, given up all forms of fun and excitement in my life simply because there is no room for them with children around. I don't look forward to the weekends or anything, I have nothing to look forward too. So when ever there is an opportunity of excitement, my brain goes nuts. That is why this happened.
So I have decided that I need a major life change. I need to feed my soul. I need to have dreams and aspirations again. I need to have something too look forward too. I need just a little excitement again. I need friendships. With a life devoid of any satisfaction, how can I make the right choices when the devil appears on my shoulder? The guilt I feel will one day run out. Fulfillment is a much better motive to be a good father and husband and that is my goal.
I have been back there numerous times and have felt nothing towards this chick. So I wanted to share my little story because I have seen other people on here who have become addicted to anther man/woman, and it has confused the fcuk out of them. I just wanted to say, no matter how desperate you feel in the moment, a little cold turkey can solve it.
Thank you for reading.
Gonecrazy
This is the sequel to my previous post regarding my out of control crush on another woman from a coffee shop. For those of you who did not read my previous post this basic jist was as follows:
1. Married for 10 years with three children.
2. Found a great cheap coffee shop.
3. Hot French barista chick started paying me attention.
4. Three weeks of friendly chit chat/mild flirting.
5. Build a chemical bond with her/felt like I fell in love with her.
6. Removed myself from the coffee shop and came to TAM to see what else I could do to forget about her.
The purpose of this post is to share what I learn and not to get advice. I was really fcuked up. I felt so emotional like I have gone through a huge break up. I wanted to see her every day. It took 4 weeks of not going there, for this addiction to be broken. Now that I'm back to normal, I can't believe what had happened to me, like some spell was placed over me. Someone had power over me and I don't like that too much.
So, I went back there. Yes, you read that right, I went back to the coffee shop. Why, not the reason that you're probably thinking. I went back there to see if she still affects me the way that she did, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing! I went back there, and pretty mush snubbed her, looked at my phone the whole time I was waiting for my coffee, so I don't know if she was looking at me or not but I gave her no eye contact what so ever.
I have realized something important that I never thought before. This problem that I had to face had absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. I have sacrificed my life, given up all forms of fun and excitement in my life simply because there is no room for them with children around. I don't look forward to the weekends or anything, I have nothing to look forward too. So when ever there is an opportunity of excitement, my brain goes nuts. That is why this happened.
So I have decided that I need a major life change. I need to feed my soul. I need to have dreams and aspirations again. I need to have something too look forward too. I need just a little excitement again. I need friendships. With a life devoid of any satisfaction, how can I make the right choices when the devil appears on my shoulder? The guilt I feel will one day run out. Fulfillment is a much better motive to be a good father and husband and that is my goal.
I have been back there numerous times and have felt nothing towards this chick. So I wanted to share my little story because I have seen other people on here who have become addicted to anther man/woman, and it has confused the fcuk out of them. I just wanted to say, no matter how desperate you feel in the moment, a little cold turkey can solve it.
Thank you for reading.
Gonecrazy
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