Im 40 wife 37. When we moved in and got engaged 11 years ago sex stopped. She made it clear through constant rejection that we would be intimate when she decides. Typically that was 3-4 times a year when she went out and had too much wine etc. she denied this was case.
When we wanted a child and she found out she was pregnant she didnt touch me again for 18 months. Our sex life the last 7 years has been maybe once a year, it is usually when she decides its something we are "supposed" to do like an aniversary. I have not been allowed to initiate an intimate moment in 8 years. Rejected every time. She wants no affection, flirting nothing . Literally go a year without even putting hand on my shoulder. Talked couple times usually turns into fight. She says if i treated her better she would want to be with me. Chicken egg argument but i know what came first
I know what many say, you need to make her interested , date nights wine and dine etc. i think its BS Im not supposed to need her to do anything just be herself. Im supposed to want her that one time a year or she will be upset. Frustrating part is she expects to have relationship like everyone else otherwise. Ignores her big failure while highlighting how she thinks Im not a good husband or why our relationship is no good.
I really feel she fell in love with me and married me for a lot of reasons but i wasnt her type physically. She thought she could overcome that but clearly not. She will never admit this never. I find it impossible to be attracted to someone and not touch them for a year. I can live with it sum of rest of parts is greater ie" i dont want to be divorced broke and live in a rathole apt" . Problem is i cant act romantic once a year or treat her like a husband who gets sex would which is what she wants. Example: why do i need to kiss her before i go away for 2 nights? She hasnt kissed me in a year. I guess im all or nothing type. I dont make demands i dont throw her failure in her face. I just deal with it and carry on but her coming down on me for things she thinks is not being a good husband is pisding me off. The hypocrisy. Fyi she is stubborn never wrong never accepts anything being her fault so talking never goes well. Any thoughts advice or sharing your story would help . Thanks!
When we wanted a child and she found out she was pregnant she didnt touch me again for 18 months. Our sex life the last 7 years has been maybe once a year, it is usually when she decides its something we are "supposed" to do like an aniversary. I have not been allowed to initiate an intimate moment in 8 years. Rejected every time. She wants no affection, flirting nothing . Literally go a year without even putting hand on my shoulder. Talked couple times usually turns into fight. She says if i treated her better she would want to be with me. Chicken egg argument but i know what came first
I know what many say, you need to make her interested , date nights wine and dine etc. i think its BS Im not supposed to need her to do anything just be herself. Im supposed to want her that one time a year or she will be upset. Frustrating part is she expects to have relationship like everyone else otherwise. Ignores her big failure while highlighting how she thinks Im not a good husband or why our relationship is no good.
I really feel she fell in love with me and married me for a lot of reasons but i wasnt her type physically. She thought she could overcome that but clearly not. She will never admit this never. I find it impossible to be attracted to someone and not touch them for a year. I can live with it sum of rest of parts is greater ie" i dont want to be divorced broke and live in a rathole apt" . Problem is i cant act romantic once a year or treat her like a husband who gets sex would which is what she wants. Example: why do i need to kiss her before i go away for 2 nights? She hasnt kissed me in a year. I guess im all or nothing type. I dont make demands i dont throw her failure in her face. I just deal with it and carry on but her coming down on me for things she thinks is not being a good husband is pisding me off. The hypocrisy. Fyi she is stubborn never wrong never accepts anything being her fault so talking never goes well. Any thoughts advice or sharing your story would help . Thanks!
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