We have a 3-yr-old and a baby due in July.
We've always tried extra hard to establish good sleep routines and habits with the 3-year-old, but it has still been a source of some tension in our marriage. We have a regular, reasonable bedtime, we have a routine we stick to, and she sleeps in her own bed.
However, I am currently staying next to her until she falls asleep, and sometimes wind up having to go back into the room multiple times a night, either to briefly reassure her, or occasionally to stay for longer.
The problem is that this takes away time for me to spend with my wife -- my wife falls asleep much earlier than I do, and if it takes my toddler a long time to fall asleep, my wife will be asleep by the time I get back to our bedroom.
We have tried "cry it out"/Ferber type methods multiple times. The first time we did it (around 6 months) it went on for almost a month and didn't really work. Later she learned to sleep on her own, but then it wore off again and she started wanting someone to be in the room with her.
Recently we tried to do "sleep-training" again, but it led to her just being more anxious about going to sleep, not wanting to go to bed at all, and coming into our room multiple times per night. We reached our current arrangement (me staying until the toddler falls asleep) because we felt it was very important to at least make sure our toddler already understands that she sleeps in her own room, in her own bed, when the new baby comes.
Has anyone had similar problems? Is this just a phase that's going to work itself out? Any tips? I just really miss the limited time with my wife every evening, and it makes me feel more distant from her -- it's really our main time together during the week.
We've always tried extra hard to establish good sleep routines and habits with the 3-year-old, but it has still been a source of some tension in our marriage. We have a regular, reasonable bedtime, we have a routine we stick to, and she sleeps in her own bed.
However, I am currently staying next to her until she falls asleep, and sometimes wind up having to go back into the room multiple times a night, either to briefly reassure her, or occasionally to stay for longer.
The problem is that this takes away time for me to spend with my wife -- my wife falls asleep much earlier than I do, and if it takes my toddler a long time to fall asleep, my wife will be asleep by the time I get back to our bedroom.
We have tried "cry it out"/Ferber type methods multiple times. The first time we did it (around 6 months) it went on for almost a month and didn't really work. Later she learned to sleep on her own, but then it wore off again and she started wanting someone to be in the room with her.
Recently we tried to do "sleep-training" again, but it led to her just being more anxious about going to sleep, not wanting to go to bed at all, and coming into our room multiple times per night. We reached our current arrangement (me staying until the toddler falls asleep) because we felt it was very important to at least make sure our toddler already understands that she sleeps in her own room, in her own bed, when the new baby comes.
Has anyone had similar problems? Is this just a phase that's going to work itself out? Any tips? I just really miss the limited time with my wife every evening, and it makes me feel more distant from her -- it's really our main time together during the week.
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