This would be long if I explained everything in detail so I'll be brief.
There's this girl I've spoken to for 4 years (Beth).
We've always had a connection and always been attracted to one another, she had a boyfriend for 3 years but broke up with him about 6 months ago, no longer talks to him and I'm almost certain she's over him now.
Me and Beth have:
- Sexted a lot for years
- Met up quite a few times in the past (kissed, but nothing beyond that)
- Sent nudes to one another (Only recent, December just gone)
- Used to talk all day every day pretty much
- She told me she loved me last year, fell for me while with her boyfriend but chose to stay with him (right decision)
I am almost certain I'm in love with her, and I've told her not long ago that I don't know what exactly I am to her. We're more the friends but, not in a relationship. So asked her about it, which basically led to us talking about relationships. The first time, she told me that she doesn't want a relationship because she's scared of losing me, and if we broke up, we could never be friends again. And also that she doesn't like the idea of relationships because she thinks she's too young (she's 19). (I'm 21).
We had the same conversation again a week or so later but it ended with "You're the only person I'd consider being in a relationship with" and "Make me fall in love with the idea of a relationship?" I tried to convince her, telling her all the good things and stuff, but the conversation ended up changing topic eventually and I never got an answer back from it.
Me and her have been through the wars, there was a whole complication involving me, her and her ex boyfriend last March, she kissed me at a party and we saw each other a few times, but it was difficult for us both. Her and her boyfriend broke up 6 months later because he moved away for university. (Me and her stopped talking because she chose him), but we rekindled just before their breakup. Now I'm scared about being "In the middle" of a friend and a boyfriend to her.
3 days ago I told her I had to walk away because it was all too much, I've wanted to be with her for 4 years and I've gotten nowhere. She says take it day by day, but that could mean waiting for another 2 years for something that might not even happen. I can't move onto someone else while I'm this attached to her and talking to her, so I told her I needed to walk away because the overthinking and the aching was just too much. The pain from not talking to her was unbearable, and she decided to let me go, no resistance at all tbh "Do what you want to/need to". And it made me think; she said she was scared of relationships because of the chance of losing me at the end of it... But she'd rather lose me completely, after so many years and so many things, instead of try anything with me and see how it goes?
I don't know what to do, at the moment we are talking but only now and again throughout the day, just general conversation tbh. I'm going to see her in person in 2 days time, she'll be at the same place I'm going to for my 21st birthday and will talk to me. That'll hurt. I just don't understand why she doesn't want to give it a try with me? She wants to get married and have kids, and all of that stuff and is excited for it, but is totally put off by the idea of a relationship? And would rather let me just walk away? If I knew me and her were going to happen one day, I'd pursue this without a doubt, but I don't. And last year I let a girl go who was actually perfect for me, but I was too attached to Beth and now the chance with her has gone forever... And I'm worried if I keep talking to Beth, that might happen again with someone else, because I really can't help it.
My options seem to be:
Stay: Ache every day, overthink every day, have to dismiss every little bit of hope that I get every day. See if things do work out one day.
Walk away: Never speak to her again, hurt a LOT but hope it gets easier with time (It would take literally months and months). And try and get on with my life without her.
What are your thoughts guys? Thank you for reading through all of this, and I really appreciate any feedback from you guys
There's this girl I've spoken to for 4 years (Beth).
We've always had a connection and always been attracted to one another, she had a boyfriend for 3 years but broke up with him about 6 months ago, no longer talks to him and I'm almost certain she's over him now.
Me and Beth have:
- Sexted a lot for years
- Met up quite a few times in the past (kissed, but nothing beyond that)
- Sent nudes to one another (Only recent, December just gone)
- Used to talk all day every day pretty much
- She told me she loved me last year, fell for me while with her boyfriend but chose to stay with him (right decision)
I am almost certain I'm in love with her, and I've told her not long ago that I don't know what exactly I am to her. We're more the friends but, not in a relationship. So asked her about it, which basically led to us talking about relationships. The first time, she told me that she doesn't want a relationship because she's scared of losing me, and if we broke up, we could never be friends again. And also that she doesn't like the idea of relationships because she thinks she's too young (she's 19). (I'm 21).
We had the same conversation again a week or so later but it ended with "You're the only person I'd consider being in a relationship with" and "Make me fall in love with the idea of a relationship?" I tried to convince her, telling her all the good things and stuff, but the conversation ended up changing topic eventually and I never got an answer back from it.
Me and her have been through the wars, there was a whole complication involving me, her and her ex boyfriend last March, she kissed me at a party and we saw each other a few times, but it was difficult for us both. Her and her boyfriend broke up 6 months later because he moved away for university. (Me and her stopped talking because she chose him), but we rekindled just before their breakup. Now I'm scared about being "In the middle" of a friend and a boyfriend to her.
3 days ago I told her I had to walk away because it was all too much, I've wanted to be with her for 4 years and I've gotten nowhere. She says take it day by day, but that could mean waiting for another 2 years for something that might not even happen. I can't move onto someone else while I'm this attached to her and talking to her, so I told her I needed to walk away because the overthinking and the aching was just too much. The pain from not talking to her was unbearable, and she decided to let me go, no resistance at all tbh "Do what you want to/need to". And it made me think; she said she was scared of relationships because of the chance of losing me at the end of it... But she'd rather lose me completely, after so many years and so many things, instead of try anything with me and see how it goes?
I don't know what to do, at the moment we are talking but only now and again throughout the day, just general conversation tbh. I'm going to see her in person in 2 days time, she'll be at the same place I'm going to for my 21st birthday and will talk to me. That'll hurt. I just don't understand why she doesn't want to give it a try with me? She wants to get married and have kids, and all of that stuff and is excited for it, but is totally put off by the idea of a relationship? And would rather let me just walk away? If I knew me and her were going to happen one day, I'd pursue this without a doubt, but I don't. And last year I let a girl go who was actually perfect for me, but I was too attached to Beth and now the chance with her has gone forever... And I'm worried if I keep talking to Beth, that might happen again with someone else, because I really can't help it.
My options seem to be:
Stay: Ache every day, overthink every day, have to dismiss every little bit of hope that I get every day. See if things do work out one day.
Walk away: Never speak to her again, hurt a LOT but hope it gets easier with time (It would take literally months and months). And try and get on with my life without her.
What are your thoughts guys? Thank you for reading through all of this, and I really appreciate any feedback from you guys
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