Hello everyone. I'm new to the site, and I'm here, like I'm sure many others, looking for some advice on my marriage. Since I can't figure out my problems myself, and don't feel that I have anyone I can share them with, I did what any other normal, sane person would do. I register online, and decided to share on the internet.
I've been married for three and a half years. My wife is beautiful, hard working, and very driven. She does well at almost everything she does, and I'm lucky to have her. I do a dangerous job that requires me to be away for months at a time. While I'm gone, there are very few things that she can't handle, and I don't have to worry.
I guess where my problem really stems is that she has a way of making me feel very unimportant. Even writing that, I feel a little awkward. This isn't normally a problem that a man should encounter. My wife is very independent. That is perfectly fine with me. However, that independence prompts her to be somewhat arrogant and "in your face" about how she handles things. I don't need a lot of recognition for what I do (in fact I tend to shy away from it), but when I'm home it's almost like I'm required to publicly kiss her hind parts because of the things she's done while I'm gone. There is always a to-do list for me when I get home after being gone for a few months (which, yes, I realize there has to be), and pretty much all of my spare time is spoken for. The things on the list are frivolous, but I'm in for a battle if they're not completed in a timely manner, which is decided by her. After I complete these tasks, there might be a thank you, but almost no recognition after t hat. I liken it to being a grossly underpaid employee.
All of the things I mentioned above I can handle. I guess the part that really gets to me is that there is no recognition for what I do to provide for my household. To make sure we are secure. A couple of weeks ago, she told me that she was proud of me and what I do for us. I asked her where that came from, and she said "I don't know. I just don't think I've ever told you that". I've often wondered if I'm not telling her I'm proud of her enough, but after thinking back, I realized that I'm never given the opportunity. Everyone else tells me how proud I "should" be of her, mainly because everyone else only hears from her mouth why I should be proud.
As I mentioned before, I love my wife. I just don't love the fact that I'm treated quite a bit like an employee, and at other times like a child. I don't love the fact that she can slam me in public to be "funny". I don't love the fact she gets more wrapped up in the well being of our pets than what is going on with me. I certainly don't love the fact that I feel I have to resort to asking strangers for advice on the internet, but here I am, with no other place to go.
Has anyone else ever dealt with a situation like this? I'd really appreciate any advice. I guess I'd really appreciate just knowing that I'm not the only one. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I've been married for three and a half years. My wife is beautiful, hard working, and very driven. She does well at almost everything she does, and I'm lucky to have her. I do a dangerous job that requires me to be away for months at a time. While I'm gone, there are very few things that she can't handle, and I don't have to worry.
I guess where my problem really stems is that she has a way of making me feel very unimportant. Even writing that, I feel a little awkward. This isn't normally a problem that a man should encounter. My wife is very independent. That is perfectly fine with me. However, that independence prompts her to be somewhat arrogant and "in your face" about how she handles things. I don't need a lot of recognition for what I do (in fact I tend to shy away from it), but when I'm home it's almost like I'm required to publicly kiss her hind parts because of the things she's done while I'm gone. There is always a to-do list for me when I get home after being gone for a few months (which, yes, I realize there has to be), and pretty much all of my spare time is spoken for. The things on the list are frivolous, but I'm in for a battle if they're not completed in a timely manner, which is decided by her. After I complete these tasks, there might be a thank you, but almost no recognition after t hat. I liken it to being a grossly underpaid employee.
All of the things I mentioned above I can handle. I guess the part that really gets to me is that there is no recognition for what I do to provide for my household. To make sure we are secure. A couple of weeks ago, she told me that she was proud of me and what I do for us. I asked her where that came from, and she said "I don't know. I just don't think I've ever told you that". I've often wondered if I'm not telling her I'm proud of her enough, but after thinking back, I realized that I'm never given the opportunity. Everyone else tells me how proud I "should" be of her, mainly because everyone else only hears from her mouth why I should be proud.
As I mentioned before, I love my wife. I just don't love the fact that I'm treated quite a bit like an employee, and at other times like a child. I don't love the fact that she can slam me in public to be "funny". I don't love the fact she gets more wrapped up in the well being of our pets than what is going on with me. I certainly don't love the fact that I feel I have to resort to asking strangers for advice on the internet, but here I am, with no other place to go.
Has anyone else ever dealt with a situation like this? I'd really appreciate any advice. I guess I'd really appreciate just knowing that I'm not the only one. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Put the internet to work for you.
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