Well basically, at the start of sixth form I had no self-confidence, and I used to suck off any guy that gave me the slightest bit of attention. Then along comes H, to start with we're just best friends, then of course that progresses to lovers, and then a full-blown relationship.
This all goes nicely, I get on well with with his family and he's obviously incredibly happy to be with me, for whatever reason. I always felt like he was the 'one for now' and we stayed together for the rest of sixth form, so nearly 18 months. In this time I did think about other guys and often wondered whether I could do better elsewhere (by this point my self-confidence was pretty healthy). But I thought; why rock the boat, uni is coming up and he doesn't want to go long-distance.
The week before uni we were both depressed about the prospect of becoming single, but we broke up anyway. Then I get to uni, and it's wonderful; I make loads of friends and really hit the ground running. After just a week he has a drunken one night stand with my best friend from home (they're both at Liverpool). Needless to say, I'm pissed off and he's terribly guilty.
Two weeks later, he's in town to see family. We meet up, and it's awkward but good to see him. He cries a lot, says he's sorry. He asks me to take him back.
In my time so far at uni I've kissed a couple of boys in clubs, but nothing serious and no major flirting, because I didn't really feel the need to suddenly move on, I just moved on slowly and sensibly.
Last weekend, I went home to see my family and who's home from uni too? My ex. We meet up, and cuddle on the sofa. It's so wonderful and it reminds me of everything I enjoyed about our relationship. So, like a weak fool, I agree to take him back.
Now, he's talking about children and marriage and growing old together. What do I do? I don't want to be tied down, I want to explore and maybe have sex with new people, or at least go on cheap dates. He keeps saying he's in love with me and I feel trapped.
Put the internet to work for you.
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