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Gym Instructor and your wife VS YOU. Why you can't win.

Recently I found out that for 2 years my wife had an affair with her gym instructor. When I suspected that something was happening, I approached her about her gym life style and why it was taking up so much of her time. She answered that it had become a new way of life with her and she was feeling motivated and revived after each session at the gym. When I started intercepting messages on her phone from a guy called"Sunshine" I realized that something was going on between them. I confronted both of them on separate occasions about my suspicions only to be told that I was paranoid and should not let my insecurities worry me.

Two years down the line after much shouting, frustrating conversations etc, I finally got her to admit that I was right. Her excuse, I had neglected her.

Well, this is my explanation to that......

If you are busy at work for 10 or more hours a day, you get up early, arrive home late. You hardly remember to call your wife to see how she is getting on and you don't notice what she has done with her hair or what she has been wearing. Therefore you are not in a position to comment about what she is doing. You have been too damn busy earning the money to support her busy healthy lifestyle that you did not notice.

Someone has been created who is only too willing to take your place.......The Gym Instructor. He sees your wife first thing in the morning wearing sexy workout clothes and has all the time in the world to pass a comment how good she is looking. While she trains, he encourages her to do better or rewards her for doing well, something that given the time, you would gladly do. All this time he gains her confidence and is rewarded with her time and attention and slowly extracts her problems from her. Slowly he will guide her from you to him and after a short while, will have her eating out of her hand. During this time, you have no defense against this bombardment. He is professional, has a great body and has all the time in the world to understand you wife and give her everything that you can't.

Only when he hurts your wife(takes on a younger, sexier student) will she realize what has happened and slip into a depression deeper than you were in when you didn't know any better.

Be warned about these Gym Instructors who claim to be professional instructors, not all of them are.

During the same period, she had an affair with my best friend. A man she grew up with and I met through her. He became a house friend and when I used to excuse myself to bed as I worked the next day, they would continue in our guest room. She says that it was only oral sex to start with but once she admitted to the pregnancy that she aborted, I realized that it wasn't. The sad thing is that as he and I were good friends, I trusted my family around him. Could she not find or choose someone else other than these low lifes. It does not make it acceptable but people that I know and trusted makes it more painful.

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