First some, background, this girl, we met for the first time at secondary, she was brilliant, she made me smile, she was stunning, beautiful and we became really really good friends without realising it. We got to the point where we both liked each other and we eventually got together which was the best moment of my life- i felt so special and i couldn't wait to give her all my love- and so it went, we had a super long relationship and things for maybe most of it were great, we'd talk all night, cheer each other up, it was great!
And then things started going wrong. For some reason we'd have petty arguments and at first we just joked around after saying it wasn't a big deal, because it wasn't. Although slowly they got worse and happened more frequently- not to say i loved her any less, we were more open with each other i guess. We got to a stage where i still put 100% in but almost everyday we'd fall out and it really sucked, we spent less and less time together and it started becoming really bad. A few days ago we talked about our relationship after a lot of effort by me (in the past she'd tell me to stop being serious) and she kinda just said it, she didn't see herself having a boyfriend all her teen life, but she said not to take it personally and it was nothing to do with me, the next day we broke up, it wasn't sad at first. She promised everything would be the same: we'd talk just as much, hug, cuddle just not the extras... few days on from the breakup, she won't talk to me, even if i try come u p to her, and when she does she'll be so annoyed, no hugs or cuddles, the break up was mutual but I've realised it wasn't, i never wanted it but she did. It gets me to think that she all this time- maybe the last month of our relationship had really not liked me, its almost as if she's already moved on- today was horrible and we hugged but it was the most awkward one we've ever had.
I feel horrible, i really do. I want her back but realistically- it won't happen, as for being best friends like she said we would, that hasn't happened either, it sucks so bad, i don't know what to do and i think I'm slowly falling apart- I gave that girl everything i could but it feels like its all gone to waste :(
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