Just turned 30 and to be fair I had a family death a few weeks before my 21st, then a year long murder trial/wait for the trial then people in local town saying my family killed them and covered it up.
Because of the shock to my system that was I basically stalled my confidence growing for a few years and I went back to uni aged 25 then dropped out and tried again age 26 and 27 then college 28 and 29 but I just get self concious being around 18 year olds who talk about how great their lives are.
Anyway going back to when I was 17 and I first left home, I felt so good that one day I told myself that I am a good catch for a women so suddenly switched on confidence, that lasted a few days of me just being confident and flirty and even getting a few girls phone numbers then one day I thought to myself "what if I am not good looking and women dont fancy me?" that put me back down again and I was unable to directly turn it back on.
When I was 20 I started gaining some self esteem, started clubbing every week and flirted a little but was a little shy to chat women up(though did get a few numbers) until the death put me right down which I never recovered from.
Anyway what I was thinking was its all a frame of mind, I did it when I was 17 and built it up slowly aged 20 so it seems personally to me its just a case of believing what I say so I have no doubts, I am so used to knock backs that I do not try or if a girl does fancy me I do not chat her up as my mind races with reasons why it will go badly.
How can I make myself put these fears at ease apart from the logical just try it since that is what freaks me out!
Any advice would be appreciated.
Put the internet to work for you.
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