I am four years into finding out about my wife. I cannot get passed it. Why do I stay? Kids, finances or whatever. We hardly talk and have to kind of relationship. To tell you the truth, she disgusts me. I still think about it everyday it seems. The mind movies are the worst. To make it worse, so bring on the crap and remarks, it was with a black guy. I have no interest in her, barely look at her but seeing my kids daily keeps me there. I am the one that takes care of them and I am the one they come too, not her. I keep thinking if I just get a better job then I can move on. I don't know why I decided to post this. Maybe writing it down will help me. I went through 2 years of counseling until my insurance changed and the counselor did not take my new insurance and I wasn't about to start over with new one. I haven't slept good in 4 years. We never talk about it and when we are around friends(or just her friends) I get so pissed at how fake s he is with everyone. A lot of stuff was done and written that I just cant get over. I don't know what I really want out of this or what advice anyone can give.
Put the internet to work for you.
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