Ever have one of those epiphany moments that make you feel like an idiot that you hadn't figured it out sooner? A real-life Homer Simpson D'oh! moment? I had one today.
For years my H would tell me he was selfish as his explanation for the issues we experienced in our M. Some of them were doozies, and I would think, "You're not just selfish, you're 100 times worse! You're narcissistic or some other deeply ingrained mental problem!" He'd make it worse by minimizing and saying "everyone is selfish" and I'd think, "NOT everyone is like you!"
I always thought of selfishness as simply needing to have the lion's share, like taking the bigger piece of pie or hogging the blanket, spending more of the disposable income, etc. More of a relative thing.
I finally looked up the definition of "selfish" today. Apparently, it's pursuing your own happiness/needs at the EXCLUSION of everyone else's. So rather than just the bigger piece of pie, selfish means you eat all of it and don't share any. Definition: "chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others." I'm flabbergasted! My H was exactly right! I wonder if he knew what he was actually saying? He was so matter-of-fact about it.
I certainly don't believe EVERYONE is selfish or there's not a M on earth that could survive.
Am I the only one surprised by this definition?
For years my H would tell me he was selfish as his explanation for the issues we experienced in our M. Some of them were doozies, and I would think, "You're not just selfish, you're 100 times worse! You're narcissistic or some other deeply ingrained mental problem!" He'd make it worse by minimizing and saying "everyone is selfish" and I'd think, "NOT everyone is like you!"
I always thought of selfishness as simply needing to have the lion's share, like taking the bigger piece of pie or hogging the blanket, spending more of the disposable income, etc. More of a relative thing.
I finally looked up the definition of "selfish" today. Apparently, it's pursuing your own happiness/needs at the EXCLUSION of everyone else's. So rather than just the bigger piece of pie, selfish means you eat all of it and don't share any. Definition: "chiefly concerned with one's own interest, advantage, etc, esp to the total exclusion of the interests of others." I'm flabbergasted! My H was exactly right! I wonder if he knew what he was actually saying? He was so matter-of-fact about it.
I certainly don't believe EVERYONE is selfish or there's not a M on earth that could survive.
Am I the only one surprised by this definition?
Put the internet to work for you.
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