We have been married for 11 years, one child and one on the way. Since having our first child I have come to realize how much more of a mother I am to my husband than a wife.
I make all the decisions. I wear the pants. He doesn't do a thing without being told to. And I've tried. I'd let the lawn go wild for over a month. I don't make dinner and he ends up making himself a cheese sandwich and forgetting there are other people in the house. I tell him I want him to pay the bills and things start getting cut off. For about a year I was working full time and he was unemployed. He did not look for jobs. He did not clean. Oh, and when he finally got a job, I found it for him (while working fulltime myself). It was awful.
At the same time, if I tell him what to do, he'll do it - after treating me like an annoying nagging mother. He actually has a chore list. Though if I don't remind him, he won't do it.
And then it enters the bedroom. I have low sex drive, but I have told him countless times that if he just initiates I will happily participate. Surprise of surprise, he never initiates, then sits there moping because we don't have sex. I tell him "this is the one thing in our lives you have to be in charge of." He admits it's a problem. It doesn't change. And you know, it's hard being attracted to a man who acts like your teenage son. I'm a real mother now, I don't have time to be a mother to him as well.
He's seen a psychiatrist, but he doesn't even have the initiative to do what she says. And to be honest, it's just another person telling him what to do. Will he ever be capable of telling himself what to do?
I make all the decisions. I wear the pants. He doesn't do a thing without being told to. And I've tried. I'd let the lawn go wild for over a month. I don't make dinner and he ends up making himself a cheese sandwich and forgetting there are other people in the house. I tell him I want him to pay the bills and things start getting cut off. For about a year I was working full time and he was unemployed. He did not look for jobs. He did not clean. Oh, and when he finally got a job, I found it for him (while working fulltime myself). It was awful.
At the same time, if I tell him what to do, he'll do it - after treating me like an annoying nagging mother. He actually has a chore list. Though if I don't remind him, he won't do it.
And then it enters the bedroom. I have low sex drive, but I have told him countless times that if he just initiates I will happily participate. Surprise of surprise, he never initiates, then sits there moping because we don't have sex. I tell him "this is the one thing in our lives you have to be in charge of." He admits it's a problem. It doesn't change. And you know, it's hard being attracted to a man who acts like your teenage son. I'm a real mother now, I don't have time to be a mother to him as well.
He's seen a psychiatrist, but he doesn't even have the initiative to do what she says. And to be honest, it's just another person telling him what to do. Will he ever be capable of telling himself what to do?
Put the internet to work for you.
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