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Consolidation/Reconciliation

For those who don't know my back story, my ex of 4 years and I split about 2 months ago. It finally got to the point where I could no longer continue down that road. Unfortunately, and I say that loosely, I feel like there was no closure at all.

I have been reading NMMG and I'm a textbook example. What I am struggling with right now is if I should go over or call or email her. There are things I'd like to get off my chest, not for her, but for myself. In thinking, I am figuring she of all people would be the best recipient for what I want to say.

Things I'd like to say include acknowledgment of how I failed in the relationship. Mistakes I made. Things of this nature. It's not to apologize to her but to own up to everything once and for all.

The other problem I am struggling with is, subconsciously, I think I'm attaching a string to the consolidations. I do not want to do this but I think this would happen. I'm trying to get to the point where I am no longer dishonest with myself and with others. When I say I'm a textbook example of a "nice guy," I define it in a way that Glover explains how most nice guys are dishonest in the first place.

Any thoughts? Would love to hear from both men and women.

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