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Am I a jerk for what I said?

My SO has many sensory issues with regards to physical contact. She claims to enjoy sex but it seems the only thing permitted is PIV with the occasional oral/toy after PIV has been initiated. She is willing to touch me with her hands but I am not allowed to reciprocate touching any area that might be considered sensitive.

The reason I share details is I recognize there is no changing her. However, I have needs/desires left unfulfilled. I am at the point where I would rather not have sex with her.

I have shared my concerns with SO that I feel our sex life is boring. That I don't like that I can't touch her. She says I can touch her just not in those sensitive areas. Besides sex is supposed to be what feels good to her and kissing and touching just doesn't do that for her.

Well one evening while having the same frustrating conversation. I loose my patience and tell her that I know I'm not being too rough and that past girlfriends never complained. That touching and kissing are normal behaviors during sex. They even encouraged me further by my touch. I then went on to explain how her lack of enthusiasm (ie. just laying there) gives me no indication of anything. I also went on to say that she lacks sexual creativity. I told her that sex is important to me. That I think about it all the time. That I'm attracted to her but that I don't know how to do it with her or even know how to begin to initiate with her anymore.

Am I a jerk for what I said?

Either way any idea's how to find a way to have a good sex life from here?

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