Not in a literal sense of course but let me outline our situation. Married 17 years with 3 great kids, ages 15, 13, 9. We get along "ok" out of necessity and a commitment to make it work, I suppose, but I have serious doubts if we have a strong enough connection to make a go of it long term. As is typical (from what I read and hear), we have basically lost ourselves in raising kids, careers, interests, etc. I feel my W doesn't really know or respect me, and has never really made an effort to do so due to her unusually strong familial ties and religious upbringing. Despite all we have experienced as a family unit, I feel like she still clings to the safety and comfort of her birth family. In other words her birth family, faith, values, beliefs, etc will always trump what me and "our" family means to her. In the interest of keeping this brief, suffice it to say we have grown apart over the years. I know that sounds cliche but it really does fit this scenario. Naturally I resent this attitude/behavior and, sadly, have little respect for this (for lack of better word) "childish" outlook on life. It may seem odd that we had 3 kids together and made it this far (17 years) but I made the age old mistake that she would change or, worse, that I could change her... so my question is, has anyone here been down a similar path, and what was the outcome? I insisted on her getting counseling a while back (I've had my share over the years as well), she went maybe 3-4 times but I see little/no growth per se. I don't think she wants to change really, since her birth family perpetuates this attitude and they outnumber me by far. (She is devout roman catholic with 10 siblings!) I struggle to think there is hope for our long-term marriage, bty way I will be 58 when my youngest turns 18 so that is a long time to hang in there to "wait and see". I welcome advice from long term couples or others who can relate to my situation, what does the future hold for us???
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