My husband and I have been married for 5 years, we have a 3 year old and a 4 year old. Over the years we've had our ups and downs. My husband has always told me he felt like something was missing in our marriage, but could never put his finger on it. I always thought he had issues connecting with people because he was sexual abused when he was young. My husband cheated on me shortly after the younger daughter was born. It was a sexual affair, no emotional connection. It took us about 2 years to get back to normal. We were happy, things were going well, I trusted him again and I felt like we were past the affair. Because of the recent affair I had software on the computers to monitor activity. I recently went out of town for a few days and returned to find out my husband tracked down his old high school girl friend. I read emails exchanged between the two and I was overwhelmed with hurt. He said in his emails he had been looking for her on and off over the years. He said he was looking for her forgiveness for how he treated her years ago. Also, felt he was still in love with her after all these years. He felt he needed to figure things out, whether he should seek a relationship with "her" or try harder in his current marriage. He told her that our marriage has improved over the years, but has always felt something was missing between him and I, but something he thought they might still have. I confronted him, told him things were over between us. He tried to tell me this was something he needed to figure out himself, if I would have stayed out of his business I wouldn't have been hurt. He moved out and was going to see what would happen between his ex-girlfriend and him. He met with his ex-girlfriend and the sparks were still there. But, he realized quickly that he did not want to leave his family and me. He told me he ended things with her, but they will stay in contact via email holidays etc. He agreed to go to couple counciling. Im scared he is still talking to her, and one day he will leave me for her. He still tells me something is missing between us, but wants to try to make things better rather than explore what could be with his ex and him. I don't know what to do with the information. Im confused and hurt.
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